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Post by Mae Hem on Nov 10, 2009 9:20:03 GMT
I will be auditioning as soon as I can find the right site. I will be a shoo in.
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Post by Mae Hem on Nov 10, 2009 10:07:59 GMT
Day One. This is really silly, the ice is melting from all the cooking
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Post by sallydickins on Nov 10, 2009 10:27:44 GMT
Day 2: Your audition for the singing bit failed because you refused to cry and traumatize in front of the pre-stage camera. Quick, dash off and get yourself a sob story - orphanage/starved/loss of speech/sole carer of all your sibling's ferel offspring, you might just make the auditions when they pass by the Cheffie-Shout Kitchens.......Good luck
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Post by Mae Hem on Nov 10, 2009 10:40:16 GMT
Day 3. Adopts Sal as a mentor. Filches onion from the Masterkitchen, gets foghorn...
'Sob, choke, wipes tear from eye, nose with sleeve, I'm doing this for me dear ol' Granny Annie, she badly needs the money for bail and payment of fines a hip operation. Huge sigh, this is for you Granny Annie' .
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Post by Slowan on Nov 10, 2009 10:51:06 GMT
*turns off telly to watch this version*
Are you allowed to do lifts while cooking?
Who is your partner? *hopes it is Anton or Christopher Dean*
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Post by sallydickins on Nov 10, 2009 10:53:32 GMT
Day 4: Hands Mae a crutch and tells her to take the medicine for a poorly throat to cover the out of tune singing. Takes photo of Mae with old crone from nut house Grannie Annie in traction. Sells made up scandalous story of drunken escapades with a male member of the Royal family, a smoked mackrel and a judges wig.......what? Not made up?
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Post by Mae Hem on Nov 10, 2009 10:56:09 GMT
*turns off telly to watch this version* Are you allowed to do lifts while cooking? Who is your partner? *hopes it is Anton or Christopher Dean* Day 4 - gets allocated Anton Deck as a dancing/comis chef partner. Starts to practice the Rumba, drinks too much of the rum, and has to do a rum ba ba in the cook-off. SHOUTY JUDGES, say they have found a fleckle in my soup! Am I facing a dance/cook/skate/eating widgety grubs off......................?
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Post by Mae Hem on Nov 10, 2009 10:57:20 GMT
Day 4: Hands Mae a crutch and tells her to take the medicine for a poorly throat to cover the out of tune singing. Takes photo of Mae with old crone from nut house Grannie Annie in traction. Sells made up scandalous story of drunken escapades with a male member of the Royal family, a smoked mackrel and a judges wig.......what? Not made up? Well, I was young, I needed the money.................... erm - and it was fun!
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Post by Mae Hem on Nov 10, 2009 11:00:11 GMT
Day 5 - I got through, good 'ol Granny Annie, hit that smug bloke with the flat head on the judges panel over the head with her walking stick, and got me my sympathy vote. I hope nobody noticed the e-tag round her ankle, and that she had broken her ASBO!
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Post by Grumpy Ole-Gitt on Nov 10, 2009 11:12:07 GMT
Don't worry, Mae. The NHS does a great job of splinting broken ASBOs in the elderly. Just remind your Granny Annie that she should NOT be using it in front of an audience at her age; it is only to be exposed in the privacy of her own cellar.
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Post by bendy on Nov 10, 2009 11:21:29 GMT
Don't worry, Mae. The NHS does a great job of splinting broken ASBOs in the elderly. Just remind your Granny Annie that she should NOT be using it in front of an audience at her age; it is only to be exposed in the privacy of her own cellar. Hello, you seem like a nice young man!
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Post by bendy on Nov 10, 2009 11:26:01 GMT
I'm 93 and am giving this interview in support of my granddaughter Mae. She is a lovely lass (lass! lass! who's she kidding) and has been kindness itself to me. She let me use her loft when I had to hide bought too much stuff from Dodgy Dave the Dealer, and never fails to bring me my pension and my rum. Did I mention that I am 93? She should go far and the Hem family is behind her all the way (to the bank). I'm 93 you know.
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Post by Grumpy Ole-Gitt on Nov 10, 2009 11:26:04 GMT
I am, Iam!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2009 11:28:13 GMT
I am, Iam! Not not.
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Post by Frankleapold on Nov 10, 2009 11:30:47 GMT
How about a talent show to find the Real Spartacus ?.
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Post by Grumpy Ole-Gitt on Nov 10, 2009 11:31:47 GMT
Hey there preety theeng, I work 9-5. Do you do overtime?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2009 11:32:03 GMT
How about a talent show to find the Real Spartacus ?. I don't even know the impostor.
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Post by bendy on Nov 10, 2009 11:37:15 GMT
Hey there preety theeng, I work 9-5. Do you do overtime? I've certainly done time
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Post by Grumpy Ole-Gitt on Nov 10, 2009 11:39:18 GMT
Hey there preety theeng, I work 9-5. Do you do overtime? I've certainly done time I've got "8 o'clock writted on this piece of paper."
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Post by bendy on Nov 10, 2009 11:40:00 GMT
How about a talent show to find the Real Spartacus ?. Real Spartacus haven't done well since they dropped Anyl Polyp from the team.
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