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Post by revmichael on May 15, 2007 7:59:03 GMT
I've been thinking about the agreement in Northern Ireland where Ian Paisley (who said he would never work with members of IRA/Sein Fein has now entertained in the First Minister's room of the NI Parliament, not only the Taoiseach, the Prime Minister of the Republic of Ireland but former IRA commander, Martin McGuinness.
Dr Paisley said, 'I believe that Northern Ireland has come to a time of peace, a time when hate will no longer rule’.
I think that is a miracle, and I'm glad of it and pray that they will be able to continue to work together successfully and in peace.
Have any readers of these boards anything to share where they have had a change of heart about someone or something?
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Post by mrsoderous on May 16, 2007 12:56:06 GMT
This is a tricky one. I always thought Roy Keane was a nasty bit of work as I had only seen him on the football field.A few years ago I saw a programme about him which explained his position-he just can not handle people who do not put 100% into everything just as he does( in all aspects of life).I had formed an opinion about him without actually knowing him(same as many do on here). That made we think hard about prejudging people-anyway Roy Keane can't be all bad if he has Labradors as pets!!
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Post by revmichael on May 16, 2007 13:47:27 GMT
This is a tricky one. I always thought Roy Keane was a nasty bit of work as I had only seen him on the football field.A few years ago I saw a programme about him which explained his position-he just can not handle people who do not put 100% into everything just as he does( in all aspects of life).I had formed an opinion about him without actually knowing him(same as many do on here). That made we think hard about prejudging people-anyway Roy Keane can't be all bad if he has Labradors as pets!! Thanks Mal. I think we all pre-judge people before we really know where they're coming from - which is the meaning of the word, prejudice
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Post by Mo Termouth on May 16, 2007 20:23:38 GMT
My manager a work isn't a very nice lady or so I thought. She can be a bit mean at times but as I have said in another thread about a thought the rev posted about looking for the good in people. Well i kept looking and praying and there it was. She can still be quite mean but I saw a better side to her.
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Post by revmichael on May 17, 2007 11:23:11 GMT
My manager a work isn't a very nice lady or so I thought. She can be a bit mean at times but as I have said in another thread about a thought the rev posted about looking for the good in people. Well i kept looking and praying and there it was. She can still be quite mean but I saw a better side to her. Of course you are correct dear lady. So often we only see things from our own point of view. I've sadly been involved in a situation recently where some people (including me) have been accused of lying. In fact, all that happened was that some of us saw the same situation from a different perspective. Perhaps our colleagues who are bad tempered may well not be upset with us, as we assume, but they are in pain or have a difficult issue to face elsewhere. Sometimes a kindly word, or offer of a chat, helps. It depends upon our relationship with them, of course, but talking over something often clears the air considerably.
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Post by BjornTobyStomped on May 17, 2007 11:39:28 GMT
Yes mine was last week. I'd just pulled up in the car by my house when I spotted some kids kicking a football against my next door neighbours garden fence. (which most of the time ends up in my pond in the back garden). Anyway not very happy I told them that they weren't supposed to play ball games at all on the grassed areas near the houses. Anyway they werent happy but they did stop playing in the area and moved elsewhere. After a short while I got pangs of concience and went back outside to talk to them and arranged a compromise. Unfortunately when I got back from Scotland they were back out kicking a football in the original area. Doh!!
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Post by revmichael on May 17, 2007 11:48:42 GMT
Yes mine was last week. I'd just pulled up in the car by my house when I spotted some kids kicking a football against my next door neighbours garden fence. (which most of the time ends up in my pond in the back garden). Anyway not very happy I told them that they weren't supposed to play ball games at all on the grassed areas near the houses. Anyway they werent happy but they did stop playing in the area and moved elsewhere. After a short while I got pangs of concience and went back outside to talk to them and arranged a compromise. Unfortunately when I got back from Scotland they were back out kicking a football in the original area. Doh!! At least you talked to them Toby. I think that is half the problem. We just grit our teeth and say nothing. (Do you have to have a special pass to get back out of Scotland? I've only been there once. It was lovely but I believe they now have a new leader and I wondered if there were fresh immigration laws).
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Post by BjornTobyStomped on May 17, 2007 11:52:08 GMT
Yes mine was last week. I'd just pulled up in the car by my house when I spotted some kids kicking a football against my next door neighbours garden fence. (which most of the time ends up in my pond in the back garden). Anyway not very happy I told them that they weren't supposed to play ball games at all on the grassed areas near the houses. Anyway they werent happy but they did stop playing in the area and moved elsewhere. After a short while I got pangs of concience and went back outside to talk to them and arranged a compromise. Unfortunately when I got back from Scotland they were back out kicking a football in the original area. Doh!! At least you talked to them Toby. I think that is half the problem. We just grit our teeth and say nothing. (Do you have to have a special pass to get back out of Scotland? I've only been there once. It was lovely but I believe they now have a new leader and I wondered if there were fresh immigration laws). Not yet Rev Michael, I don't think independence is round the corner just yet as they've had to form a coalition and the other parties don't want independence.
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Post by Ann T Soshal on May 20, 2007 16:34:13 GMT
As a child and into my very late teens, i came to hate my father, as he was a very bad tempered, overbearing man. I always seemed to be on the end of his anger (and his belt). He was ill most of his life, but as a child it is hard to realise this can profoundly affect your character and disposition. He died when i was 19 and i feel bad to say now, that i was not unduly sad at his passing. I now have a very real insight to why he was like he was. I am now disabled and in a lot of pain most of the time, and have been for the last 20 years. It is sooo easy to shout or snap,and blame your nearest and dearest for the smallest and most unimportant thing, when you are in pain. To have to rely on someone to do something that you have always done yourself and can no longer do, is soul destroying. I realise that i have in fact learned a very real lesson from him that has stood me in good stead for my own treatment of others, and how i react to them, because i now know how he felt. When i want to hit out at someone because i'm hurting, i think of how i felt at his treatment of me, and i don't go there.
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Post by BjornTobyStomped on May 20, 2007 16:58:37 GMT
As a child and into my very late teens, i came to hate my father, as he was a very bad tempered, overbearing man. I always seemed to be on the end of his anger (and his belt). He was ill most of his life, but as a child it is hard to realise this can profoundly affect your character and disposition. He died when i was 19 and i feel bad to say now, that i was not unduly sad at his passing. I now have a very real insight to why he was like he was. I am now disabled and in a lot of pain most of the time, and have been for the last 20 years. It is sooo easy to shout or snap,and blame your nearest and dearest for the smallest and most unimportant thing, when you are in pain. To have to rely on someone to do something that you have always done yourself and can no longer do, is soul destroying. I realise that i have in fact learned a very real lesson from him that has stood me in good stead for my own treatment of others, and how i react to them, because i now know how he felt. When i want to hit out at someone because i'm hurting, i think of how i felt at his treatment of me, and i don't go there. Wow, Ann that is one very strong testimony!
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Post by revmichael on May 20, 2007 17:01:21 GMT
As a child and into my very late teens, i came to hate my father, as he was a very bad tempered, overbearing man. I always seemed to be on the end of his anger (and his belt). He was ill most of his life, but as a child it is hard to realise this can profoundly affect your character and disposition. He died when i was 19 and i feel bad to say now, that i was not unduly sad at his passing. I now have a very real insight to why he was like he was. I am now disabled and in a lot of pain most of the time, and have been for the last 20 years. It is sooo easy to shout or snap,and blame your nearest and dearest for the smallest and most unimportant thing, when you are in pain. To have to rely on someone to do something that you have always done yourself and can no longer do, is soul destroying. I realise that i have in fact learned a very real lesson from him that has stood me in good stead for my own treatment of others, and how i react to them, because i now know how he felt. When i want to hit out at someone because i'm hurting, i think of how i felt at his treatment of me, and i don't go there. My father wasn't quite as bad as that Ann, but he gave me mother a hard time every Friday evening and all day Saturday. He gave her very little money to run the house on but spent a much larger amount of the horses and in the pub; when he came home drunk and argumentative (but he was never physically violent). Sadly when he died only my sister, her husband, myself, the minister and his driver attended the funeral. I remember saying to my sister, 'How sad that we have only come because it's our duty to do so.' You are learning, Ann, from your experiences. I must try to learn from mine.
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Post by Glen B Ogle on May 20, 2007 18:11:07 GMT
I try and take people as I personally find them (for good or bad). SO a slightly less personal incident than those above...
Some years ago England played South Africa at rugby, and it was fairly clear that SA weren't interested in playing rugby but were interested in intimidation and violence. One particularly nasty incident involved Korne Krige (SA captain) and Matt Dawson (now celebrity chef, dancer and Question of Sport captain).
A couple of seasons later my club, Northampton Saints, signed Krige much to the disgust of many members. This may well have also contributed to Matt's departure from the club after several years. Although he only played one season for us before retiring, whilst he was with the club he went out of his way to be the perfect club player. He would go out of his way to meet fans - to the extent of returning from seeing his wife who'd just given birth to greet a couple of German fans who were at a game and had missed him earlier due to a communications breakdown.
In the England game the players were behaving as they had been told (or forced) to do by their management, and indeed subject to a training regime that, according to reports, almost amounted to torture and brainwashing. Sometimes people are reacting to circumstances and pressures in a way that goes against their own personal insitincts - and it can take a very brave person to resist.
Glen
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Post by Mo Termouth on May 20, 2007 18:18:52 GMT
As a child and into my very late teens, i came to hate my father, as he was a very bad tempered, overbearing man. I always seemed to be on the end of his anger (and his belt). He was ill most of his life, but as a child it is hard to realise this can profoundly affect your character and disposition. He died when i was 19 and i feel bad to say now, that i was not unduly sad at his passing. I now have a very real insight to why he was like he was. I am now disabled and in a lot of pain most of the time, and have been for the last 20 years. It is sooo easy to shout or snap,and blame your nearest and dearest for the smallest and most unimportant thing, when you are in pain. To have to rely on someone to do something that you have always done yourself and can no longer do, is soul destroying. I realise that i have in fact learned a very real lesson from him that has stood me in good stead for my own treatment of others, and how i react to them, because i now know how he felt. When i want to hit out at someone because i'm hurting, i think of how i felt at his treatment of me, and i don't go there. 'Honour your Father and your Mother'which I think is the 3rd commandment. But in a situation like the life you had is very difficult. I had similar problems with my dad but he would beat us as well mentally abuse us and my mother. I always said he got the death he deserved(he died of prostate cancer) but I know now that I was very wrong to think like that. I did forgive him in the end. God made me. Until I had I couldn't move on. We can learn from our parents mistakes, we do not have to be the same.
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