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Post by crystal on Nov 28, 2007 15:43:35 GMT
My wife continually asks me if I know the person to whom I have just spoken.I say no I didn't have to. I always say hello when passing someone on the street even if they try not to(the British trait). There is an Instore cleaner (who just happens to be Afro Caribbean) in Tescos hereand people walk past and completely ignore him-not I think because of his colour but because of his job.His face lights up when I stop to have a chat with him.
So go out and try it-speak to people-it will give you agreat feeling!
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Post by carlott on Nov 28, 2007 15:50:16 GMT
Even people from the Nth East?
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Post by Beau Leggs on Nov 28, 2007 16:11:04 GMT
Even people from the Nth East? What, Eberdeen?
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Post by revmichael on Nov 28, 2007 17:10:26 GMT
My wife continually asks me if I know the person to whom I have just spoken.I say no I didn't have to. I always say hello when passing someone on the street even if they try not to(the British trait). There is an Instore cleaner (who just happens to be Afro Caribbean) in Tescos hereand people walk past and completely ignore him-not I think because of his colour but because of his job.His face lights up when I stop to have a chat with him. So go out and try it-speak to people-it will give you agreat feeling! Good point Mal. I always try to do that, whoever they are, but I do feel guilty when I walk past the Central European lady who standing trying to see 'The Big Issue.' I must try to speak to her - and even buy one of her magazines.
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Post by carlott on Nov 28, 2007 18:03:51 GMT
Even people from the Nth East? What, Eberdeen? A bridge too far that one Beau
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Post by Beau Leggs on Nov 28, 2007 19:05:43 GMT
A bridge too far that one Beau Not even with the book Doric For Dummies?
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Post by ivy noidea on Nov 28, 2007 20:04:13 GMT
My wife continually asks me if I know the person to whom I have just spoken.I say no I didn't have to. I always say hello when passing someone on the street even if they try not to(the British trait). There is an Instore cleaner (who just happens to be Afro Caribbean) in Tescos hereand people walk past and completely ignore him-not I think because of his colour but because of his job.His face lights up when I stop to have a chat with him. So go out and try it-speak to people-it will give you agreat feeling! Now I know why I like you, Mal.
Before we moved to Reading, my kids used to get cross and embarrassed with me because I would speak to anyone - people at bus stops, in shops, in their gardens, passing by my garden when I was in it or just generally passing.
Then - we moved to Reading. At first I carried on as before but I was very quickly disillusioned when all I got was scowled at or suspicious looks. I still try to talk to people but I am much less likely to now and tend to wait for someone else to make the first move - e.g. on flights etc.
I must make more effort!
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Post by carlott on Nov 28, 2007 20:09:17 GMT
Strange I have a tendency to do this but not as much as my old dad did. It is Tiglet who looks at me a little askance. I also recall a neighbour who had moved to the Midlands from Essex who was unhappy with the locals not smiling back. Mind the area was a bit like Caversham which may explain things.
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Post by Peek on Nov 28, 2007 20:22:27 GMT
It took me a very long time to get the confidence to speak to complete strangers, but I'm glad that I can now do it, the turning point came for me when I had my lad and didn't want him to be as shy as I once was. It doesn't matter what you talk about, it generally ends up with us both going away with a smile on our faces, and that's what makes it worth it. Some of my best conversations have been with the ladies on the tills at Sainsbug's who don't have the most exciting of jobs in the world, and must be bored out of their minds but I also enjoy saying howdy to the elderly gent who goes for a brisk walk along the same route that I take the dog, but in the opposite direction...we generally meet up twice that way and have 2 chats!
I wouldn't say that it's purely a Christian thing though ( sorry Mal !), I believe we all have good in us, and I'm an atheist.
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Post by ivy noidea on Nov 28, 2007 20:35:19 GMT
I wouldn't say that it's purely a Christian thing though ( sorry Mal !), I believe we all have good in us, and I'm an atheist. My Mum always believes everyone is good until they prove otherwise.
Considering she spent most of her working life as a nurse in Carstairs State Hospital, that's quite a philosophy!
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Post by Beau Leggs on Nov 28, 2007 23:13:42 GMT
My Mum always believes everyone is good until they prove otherwise.
Considering she spent most of her working life as a nurse in Carstairs State Hospital, that's quite a philosophy! *Withdraws comment about where Ives was born, just to keep on breathing*
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Post by Fi on Nov 29, 2007 0:33:26 GMT
It took me a very long time to get the confidence to speak to complete strangers, but I'm glad that I can now do it, the turning point came for me when I had my lad and didn't want him to be as shy as I once was. It doesn't matter what you talk about, it generally ends up with us both going away with a smile on our faces, and that's what makes it worth it. Some of my best conversations have been with the ladies on the tills at Sainsbug's who don't have the most exciting of jobs in the world, and must be bored out of their minds but I also enjoy saying howdy to the elderly gent who goes for a brisk walk along the same route that I take the dog, but in the opposite direction...we generally meet up twice that way and have 2 chats! I wouldn't say that it's purely a Christian thing though ( sorry Mal !), I believe we all have good in us, and I'm an atheist. I suppose the only time religion comes into it is if it is the subject of the chat. I rememebr shortly after I went to university, I was telling my mum about chatting to the porter t the hall of residence I lived in. She made a comment along the lines of "Oh you, you'l talk to anybody", which I thought was a bit off since I'd learned to talk to anybody while accompanying her on shopping trips. I think it's one of those things that, if you learn it as a child, it stays with you. Aberdeen is always a bit challenging, it's so dour, but in the smaller towns and villages down the east coast, from Stonehaven to Arbroath and beyond, it's absolutely the thing to do. And I entirely agree about supermarket checkout operators - it must be a pretty thankless task and with not much pay to make it feel worthwhile. Those that remain cheerful and helpful, and that is most of them in the supermarkets I use up here, get my unreserved admiration - I always make a point of having a short chat, irrespective of their age, even if it's just a couple of sentences and not just to show my appreciation. There's a lot of interesting people from very diverse backgrounds totting up the bill - they make using a supermarket bearable.
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Post by revmichael on Nov 29, 2007 7:57:59 GMT
It took me a very long time to get the confidence to speak to complete strangers, but I'm glad that I can now do it, the turning point came for me when I had my lad and didn't want him to be as shy as I once was. It doesn't matter what you talk about, it generally ends up with us both going away with a smile on our faces, and that's what makes it worth it. Some of my best conversations have been with the ladies on the tills at Sainsbug's who don't have the most exciting of jobs in the world, and must be bored out of their minds but I also enjoy saying howdy to the elderly gent who goes for a brisk walk along the same route that I take the dog, but in the opposite direction...we generally meet up twice that way and have 2 chats! I wouldn't say that it's purely a Christian thing though ( sorry Mal !), I believe we all have good in us, and I'm an atheist. I suppose the only time religion comes into it is if it is the subject of the chat. I rememebr shortly after I went to university, I was telling my mum about chatting to the porter t the hall of residence I lived in. She made a comment along the lines of "Oh you, you'l talk to anybody", which I thought was a bit off since I'd learned to talk to anybody while accompanying her on shopping trips. I think it's one of those things that, if you learn it as a child, it stays with you. Aberdeen is always a bit challenging, it's so dour, but in the smaller towns and villages down the east coast, from Stonehaven to Arbroath and beyond, it's absolutely the thing to do. And I entirely agree about supermarket checkout operators - it must be a pretty thankless task and with not much pay to make it feel worthwhile. Those that remain cheerful and helpful, and that is most of them in the supermarkets I use up here, get my unreserved admiration - I always make a point of having a short chat, irrespective of their age, even if it's just a couple of sentences and not just to show my appreciation. There's a lot of interesting people from very diverse backgrounds totting up the bill - they make using a supermarket bearable.Having taught for sixteen years at a local school I have the benefit of knowing a good many of our local Sainsbury's supermarket - I always chat to them - even to the blokes. I usually ask the Saturday boys/girls if they are studying and what they are hoping to do. The older people are always interesting and helpful people. I think the ones who are miserable are usually put to work out of the back somewhere. I know our local manager insists that the check-out staff engage in conversation with the customers. Few of us know what is going on the lives of those we meet, and perhaps our general conversation might make their day more cheerful.
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Post by shemlock on Nov 29, 2007 8:04:20 GMT
It took me a very long time to get the confidence to speak to complete strangers, but I'm glad that I can now do it, the turning point came for me when I had my lad and didn't want him to be as shy as I once was. It doesn't matter what you talk about, it generally ends up with us both going away with a smile on our faces, and that's what makes it worth it. Some of my best conversations have been with the ladies on the tills at Sainsbug's who don't have the most exciting of jobs in the world, and must be bored out of their minds but I also enjoy saying howdy to the elderly gent who goes for a brisk walk along the same route that I take the dog, but in the opposite direction...we generally meet up twice that way and have 2 chats! I wouldn't say that it's purely a Christian thing though ( sorry Mal !), I believe we all have good in us, and I'm an atheist. I suppose the only time religion comes into it is if it is the subject of the chat. I rememebr shortly after I went to university, I was telling my mum about chatting to the porter t the hall of residence I lived in. She made a comment along the lines of "Oh you, you'l talk to anybody", which I thought was a bit off since I'd learned to talk to anybody while accompanying her on shopping trips. I think it's one of those things that, if you learn it as a child, it stays with you. Aberdeen is always a bit challenging, it's so dour, but in the smaller towns and villages down the east coast, from Stonehaven to Arbroath and beyond, it's absolutely the thing to do. And I entirely agree about supermarket checkout operators - it must be a pretty thankless task and with not much pay to make it feel worthwhile. Those that remain cheerful and helpful, and that is most of them in the supermarkets I use up here, get my unreserved admiration - I always make a point of having a short chat, irrespective of their age, even if it's just a couple of sentences and not just to show my appreciation. There's a lot of interesting people from very diverse backgrounds totting up the bill - they make using a supermarket bearable.I worked as a supermarket checkout operator for 2 years, and part of the training was to greet everyone, which to some comes easy and to others not so. It is interesting to note how customers react. There are those who just love to hear their own voices and talk about themselves, and talking to you is doing you a favour. There are the genuine friendly people, who are as interested in you as you are in them. Then there are the 'who do you think you are speaking to me' ones. Then the ones I liked to talk to the best were the people who lived on their own, and you were probably the only person that they would talk to all day. They were the people who made you feel you were doing more than processing their shopping.For a good lesson in the study of people behaviour, be a checkout operator. The operators are from a variety of backgrounds, from the privileged to the under privileged, from qualified people, who are unable to get a suitable position to the unqualified. So never underestimate your till operator, you don't know who you are talking to, you may be surprised.
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Post by crystal on Nov 29, 2007 11:07:43 GMT
Yes And to those people who continue a conversation on the mobile phone whilst putting their groceries in their trolley then hand their card over without a word-Don't do it!!! It is sheer bad manners!!
If you have done it think of the check out operator!
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Post by meltemi on Nov 29, 2007 11:47:30 GMT
A stranger is only a friend you have not previously found...lots to find...
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Post by crystal on Nov 29, 2007 16:19:47 GMT
A stranger is only a friend you have not previously found...lots to find... Very true!
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Post by shemlock on Nov 29, 2007 16:50:30 GMT
A stranger is only a friend you have not previously found...lots to find... I like that very much, Mel, well done. I hope to find many more strange friends. ;D
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Post by meltemi on Nov 30, 2007 12:41:31 GMT
A stranger is only a friend you have not previously found...lots to find... I like that very much, Mel, well done. I hope to find many more strange friends. ;D Yep just like Mal the supermarket check-out queue is the best...always opt for the longest one... Ah I see you have a douzen eggs are you expecting them to hatch before you leave? Gets them going... A bit like lobbing bricks into a pond...a TOGy sort of opener...
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Post by Caddi Fuller-Teabags on Dec 1, 2007 21:08:23 GMT
For a while I worked as a cleaner and was disgusted how I was treated.
My friend who I worked with was taking her degree as a mature student and I had just finished my degree and I was doing cleaning because I couldn't get enough teaching hours at the college, but we were assumed to be stupid. One of the staff at the family centre we cleaned was absolutely shocked to find that both of us had more qualifications than she did. I can't stand people looking down on people for any reason.
I just talk to anyone (I have a reputation for knowing the names of all the catering staff at our hospital).
Many of our cleaners have English as a second language and they seem to enjoy practicing their English on me almost as much as I enjoy talking to them.
You don't learn about people unless you talk to strangers.
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