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Post by bkeeper on Jan 18, 2010 20:59:11 GMT
Dear Scottish TOGS,
Which species of haggis do you recommend?
Clock-wise or anti-clockwise?
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Post by Phil Occifer™ on Jan 18, 2010 21:03:08 GMT
Dear Scottish TOGS, Which species of haggis do you recommend? Clock-wise or anti-clockwise? Filthy Swine..keep both feet on the floor!!!!
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Post by Frankleapold on Jan 18, 2010 21:09:34 GMT
Preferably one that is quite dead !!.
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Post by Vinny Triloquist on Jan 18, 2010 21:54:01 GMT
I've just gought my haggis. This one was a vegetarian which surkrised ne gecause I didn't know any of then were carnivores.
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Post by Ewan O'Rout? on Jan 18, 2010 21:56:34 GMT
Dear Scottish TOGS, Which species of haggis do you recommend? Clock-wise or anti-clockwise? Strictly speaking, they are all the same species because they can breed with each other. It's just they find it very difficult to keep their balance when attempting such a feat.
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Post by Ian Flagrante on Jan 18, 2010 22:14:08 GMT
Dear Scottish TOGS, Which species of haggis do you recommend? Clock-wise or anti-clockwise? Depends on how you plan to cook it. Or whether you plan to have it as a guest at table. Some perverted types do that, y'know. Puts the wee chappies into a right state of paranoia, not to mention panic. Then they run round and round until they explode. At which point, you need to know how far they will run and in which direction, if your purpose is to cause the untimely demise of an aged relative as a result of an exploding haggis. Gen'rally, go for an anti-clockwise one. And keep the lid on tight when cooking it.
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Post by bkeeper on Jan 18, 2010 22:21:22 GMT
Thanks. I didn't realise it was so technical.
Och aye, hoots the noo, it's a braw brecht moonlicht nicht the nich, long may yer lum reek, and other sayings guaranteed to annoy our Scottish brethren.
Which, strangely, included my father so I suppose that technically I am annoying myself.
I shall have some nice food and smack my chops.
I'd better nip out and buy a kilt before Burns Night.
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Post by Phil Occifer™ on Jan 18, 2010 22:31:04 GMT
Some facts of interest..
Zoology of the Haggis The Enthusiast’s Cryptozoologicon tells us that the haggis is a member of the family of duck-filled phatypuds (of the genus umbrus), the group from which the Australian duck-billed platypus derives. The creatures are believed to be the descendants of a migrating group of phatypuds trapped in Europe during the last ice age. They evolved thick pelts and layers of blubber to survive in the cold damp conditions gripping the continent. So well did they adapt that they began to thrive and multiplied in huge numbers. But as the glaciers retreated and the melt waters dried, the haggis had to flee north to escape the rising temperatures. As the planet warmed, there were fewer and fewer habitats suitable for the haggii, needing as they did almost constant rain and a chill climate. Thus it was that Scotland became the only place in the world where haggii can be found.
Latin name: Marag fabulosus.
Lifespan: Unknown.
Natural enemies: Anything with teeth, anything larger than a football and, of course, midges, the natural enemy of every living thing.
Food: Heather, blaeberries, turnips and potatoes.
Habitat: Cold and wet regions of Scotland.
Range: The haggis can be found anywhere in Scotland. However the creatures become harder to find after 30 November, the start of the hunting season. Centuries of persecution have obviously caused these creatures to be cautious at this time of year. On 31 December, something very unusual happens: haggii move east across the country in huge numbers. The reason for this mass migration is unknown. This could be an example of co-evolution as most of the human inhabitants of the country are in no condition to hunt on 31 December or 1 January and the haggii can move unmolested.
Mating habits: The mating season starts on 25 January, a date after which it is illegal to hunt the haggis. Most mating attempts are unsuccessful, possibly due to the cold weather. However a successful female will lay literally hundreds of eggs. This strategy is the only reason that the haggis has survived.
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Post by Beau Leggs on Jan 18, 2010 23:34:42 GMT
*lol* having met quite a few of the Scottish Togs on here, do you honestly think they are the sort to atone? I agree with your point but surely one would have to be a masochist to eat that sh*te? ;D And what do you think that they put in sausages? Before the BSE outbreak, they contained offal. Link sausages skin used to be made from pigs intestines.
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Post by Grumpy Ole-Gitt on Jan 19, 2010 8:43:34 GMT
Some facts of interest.. Zoology of the Haggis The Enthusiast’s Cryptozoologicon ....... etc., etc., etc. Ah, but Phil, have you spotted any?
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Post by Phil Occifer™ on Jan 19, 2010 8:51:31 GMT
Some facts of interest.. Zoology of the Haggis The Enthusiast’s Cryptozoologicon ....... etc., etc., etc. Ah, but Phil, have you spotted any? At the last count, 23!
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Post by Phil Occifer™ on Jan 19, 2010 9:17:24 GMT
BTW these are the tips for succesful Haggis Hunting....
Hunting the haggis is no easy matter. Before you have even ventured out on hills armed with your meuran (the standard tool of the haggis hunter) there are myriad traditions to be observed.
Central to the art is stealth. Like the deer stalker, the haggis hunter must be silent, invisible and without odour. Fortunately, while the haggis has incredibly acute senses, these function over a very narrow range. Thus the haggis hunter has to be only a bit silent, a bit invisible and a little without odour.
The haggis can hear only certain high pitched sounds with any clarity. By whacking turnips with a mallet next to a haggis warren, or fobhríste, the prominent cryptobiologist Ima Maidep-Nayim has proved that the animal does not react to low thudding sounds. However, even a light rustling can make these delicate creatures bolt.
By perverse coincidence, the sound the haggis is most sensitive to is that of plaid rubbing on underpants. No-one knows why this should be, perhaps this almost undetectable noise mimics exactly the sound of a golden eagle plummeting towards its target. Whatever the reason, the aim of a haggis hunter who sports underwear will never be true. Hence, the tradition that “true Scots” wear nothing under their kilt.
As far as masking the hunter’s smell is concerned, there is only one substance that can hide the multifarious odours of a haggiser: whisky. Preferable, the hunter should be absolutely drenched in the stuff to mask any scent. Many’s the ignorant laird who has given his gamekeeper a tongue-lashing for smelling of alcohol and then had to issue a cringeing apology after learning this bit of haggis lore.
Finally, the haggis hunter must make himself invisible to his prey. Much like the Tyrannosaurus Rex – a creature to which it is not often compared – the haggis has eyes that react most effectively to movement, but only movement in a straight line. In order to creep up on their prey, haggis hunters must disguise their approach by adopting a shambling, apparently random gait. This is known as havering.
Thus, if you encounter a Scot stinking of whisky, shuffling down the street in an ungainly fashion with their kilt flapping round their bare backside you know they are only hunting the haggis. To show that you are au fait with “the hunt”, approach him (or her) and say in a loud voice: “Ach, your havering”. A lively discussion should ensue.
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Post by edinacloud on Jan 19, 2010 10:32:07 GMT
It's much better if you can go out and capture the haggis yourself.The ones that have taken part in the haggis races at Wembley are rather tough as their legs have had too much exercise and so are too muscular.Not that there's much eating on a haggis leg anyway.
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Post by Shuggie on Jan 19, 2010 12:08:20 GMT
If I remember, we will eat Haggis, and Tude will drink Whisky. We may even play Eddie Reader songs, and may even sing along. If am really feeling adventurous I may do chicken stuffed with haggis with a nice whisky sauce, neeps and tatties. But it is just as likely, I will forget. Forget what?
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Post by Grumpy Ole-Gitt on Jan 19, 2010 12:32:46 GMT
It's much better if you can go out and capture the haggis yourself.The ones that have taken part in the haggis races at Wembley are rather tough as their legs have had too much exercise and so are too muscular.Not that there's much eating on a haggis leg anyway. Oh no!!!! Don't get me started!
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Post by hellenbach on Jan 19, 2010 12:54:24 GMT
If I remember, we will eat Haggis, and Tude will drink Whisky. We may even play Eddie Reader songs, and may even sing along. If am really feeling adventurous I may do chicken stuffed with haggis with a nice whisky sauce, neeps and tatties. But it is just as likely, I will forget. Forget what? Well hello Shuggie, it is lovely to see you on here. What was I saying?
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Post by edinacloud on Jan 19, 2010 13:34:32 GMT
It's much better if you can go out and capture the haggis yourself.The ones that have taken part in the haggis races at Wembley are rather tough as their legs have had too much exercise and so are too muscular.Not that there's much eating on a haggis leg anyway. Oh no!!!! Don't get me started! Thank you for posting that clip to confirm my message.Would you believe some people were actually doubting the validity of my words??? PS Don't you just love Mrs Galloway too?
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Post by hellenbach on Jan 19, 2010 13:39:48 GMT
Oh no!!!! Don't get me started! Thank you for posting that clip to confirm my message.Would you believe some people were actually doubting the validity of my words??? PS Don't you just love Mrs Galloway too? Knock, knock, I'm in the boot...
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Post by edinacloud on Jan 19, 2010 13:42:17 GMT
Thank you for posting that clip to confirm my message.Would you believe some people were actually doubting the validity of my words??? PS Don't you just love Mrs Galloway too? Knock, knock, I'm in the boot... And I've just fallen off the roof!!!
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Post by Grumpy Ole-Gitt on Jan 19, 2010 17:41:25 GMT
.....and my lawnmower won't stop. Oh dear....
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