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Post by Mae Hem on Jan 16, 2010 15:30:18 GMT
We are having a Burns Night supper, and the PMH tells me that a couple of scotch eggs and some shortbread will not suffice, so what am I to serve the guests? Two are from the Glasgow place but the rest are exiled northerners and a couple of token southerners, who know no better, should I throw in a couple of oat cakes to make it a bit posh?
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Post by Mahatt Micoat on Jan 16, 2010 16:36:16 GMT
I think the modern Burns night supper is not complete without deep fried Mars bar and Irn Bru.
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Kay Ninegriptight
TOG
Blessed are the cracked for they shall let in the light
Posts: 210
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Post by Kay Ninegriptight on Jan 16, 2010 16:47:07 GMT
Well traditionally you have to give them several tots of whiskey when they arrive and then larger tots with the first course and then even larger with the next course then a bottle each for the pud because you have to pour some whiskey over it and set light to it. Along with all this some old bloke [or gal] has to stand up [if he still can] and give an address to the haggis. This can take up to two hours depending upon how said addresser can hold his drink by which time everyone will be asleep and will be unlikely to remember what they had to eat the night before when they wake in the morningso no worries there serve what you like.
Oh and did I remember to tell you about the bagpipes? You gotta have the haggis led into the dining room by the pipes but don't worry no-one will notice whats on the dish they will be too busy hiding under the table!
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Post by ivy noidea on Jan 16, 2010 17:00:39 GMT
Address To A Haggis
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o' a grace As lang's my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill, Your hurdies like a distant hill, Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o' need, While thro' your pores the dews distil Like amber bead.
His knife see rustic Labour dight, An' cut you up wi' ready sleight, Trenching your gushing entrails bright, Like ony ditch; And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reekin, rich!
Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive: Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive, Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve, Are bent lyke drums; Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive, "Bethankit!" 'hums.
Is there that owre his French ragout Or olio that wad staw a sow, Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi' perfect sconner, Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him ower his trash, As feckless as a wither'd rash, His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash, His nieve a nit; Thro' sanguineous flood or field to dash, O how unfit!
But mark the Rustic, haggis fed, The trembling earth resounds his tread. Clap in his walie nieve a blade, He'll mak it whissle; An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned, Like taps o' thrissle.
Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care, And dish them out their bill o' fare, Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware That jaups in luggies; But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer, Gie her a haggis!
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Post by Conrad Grills on Jan 16, 2010 17:02:47 GMT
Address To A Haggis
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o' a grace As lang's my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill, Your hurdies like a distant hill, Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o' need, While thro' your pores the dews distil Like amber bead.
His knife see rustic Labour dight, An' cut you up wi' ready sleight, Trenching your gushing entrails bright, Like ony ditch; And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reekin, rich!
Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive: Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive, Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve, Are bent lyke drums; Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive, "Bethankit!" 'hums.
Is there that owre his French ragout Or olio that wad staw a sow, Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi' perfect sconner, Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him ower his trash, As feckless as a wither'd rash, His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash, His nieve a nit; Thro' sanguineous flood or field to dash, O how unfit!
But mark the Rustic, haggis fed, The trembling earth resounds his tread. Clap in his walie nieve a blade, He'll mak it whissle; An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned, Like taps o' thrissle.
Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care, And dish them out their bill o' fare, Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware That jaups in luggies; But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer, Gie her a haggis! Happy Birthday Ivy Doll.
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Kay Ninegriptight
TOG
Blessed are the cracked for they shall let in the light
Posts: 210
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Post by Kay Ninegriptight on Jan 16, 2010 20:09:06 GMT
Address To A Haggis
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o' a grace As lang's my arm.
Etc. Etc. There'll always be one clever clogs who knows all the words and spells `em rite an' all. Well I expec they are spelled write...' '
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Post by troykerr on Jan 16, 2010 20:11:23 GMT
Aye youse cannae beat 'cut n paste' ;D
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jan 16, 2010 20:43:59 GMT
There was a young man from Kilmarnock.............................
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Kay Ninegriptight
TOG
Blessed are the cracked for they shall let in the light
Posts: 210
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Post by Kay Ninegriptight on Jan 16, 2010 21:08:07 GMT
There was a young man from Kilmarnock............................. Who thoughtfully married a haddock
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Post by ivy noidea on Jan 16, 2010 21:31:26 GMT
Aye youse cannae beat 'cut n paste' ;D Aye but I did find somewhere to cut and paste it from
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Post by Grumpy Ole-Gitt on Jan 17, 2010 10:04:46 GMT
See, Boys; that's what you can do with a Vaaaarsity Educashun if you only fail one Akademic Examination in yer Hole Leif. ;D
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Post by bkeeper on Jan 17, 2010 20:44:17 GMT
Personally, my favourite Burns quotation is:
What can a young lassie, What shall a young lassie, What can a young lassie, Do wi' an auld man?
I guess it's just my imagination running riot that makes it appeal. ;D
Oh and here's the punchline, what's the joke?
"No, it's not the psychiatric ward, it's the serious Burns unit"
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Post by Mae Hem on Jan 18, 2010 10:39:18 GMT
Lest we forget William McGonagall (MCGONAGALL!!!!) we shall have a slice of Dundee Cake for afters.
Thank you for the pome Ivy, I shall get my Geordie mate to read it out, she has more of an accent than the two Glasgow people, who have been assimilated by the dreaded South East (much to the disgust of the PMH's sisters).
ps - I ran a spell check on this, and it tried to correct McGonagall with 'conjugal'!
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Post by hellenbach on Jan 18, 2010 11:07:41 GMT
If I remember, we will eat Haggis, and Tude will drink Whisky.
We may even play Eddie Reader songs, and may even sing along.
If am really feeling adventurous I may do chicken stuffed with haggis with a nice whisky sauce, neeps and tatties.
But it is just as likely, I will forget.
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Post by Phil Occifer™ on Jan 18, 2010 11:37:58 GMT
My favourite Rabbie Burns poem...
In The Kirkyard
His pants were doon, His ar$e was bare, His 'you know what' Was 'you know where,' And if that's no *****n,' I wasnae' there......!
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Post by sallydickins on Jan 18, 2010 13:08:12 GMT
If I remember, we will eat Haggis, and Tude will drink Whisky. We may even play Eddie Reader songs, and may even sing along. If am really feeling adventurous I may do chicken stuffed with haggis with a nice whisky sauce, neeps and tatties. But it is just as likely, I will forget. Ewwwww Is this when the Scotty Dogs are compelled to atone for the sins of their existances? (PS No disrespect to the potential Cheffette )
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Post by hellenbach on Jan 18, 2010 13:21:16 GMT
If I remember, we will eat Haggis, and Tude will drink Whisky. We may even play Eddie Reader songs, and may even sing along. If am really feeling adventurous I may do chicken stuffed with haggis with a nice whisky sauce, neeps and tatties. But it is just as likely, I will forget. Ewwwww Is this when the Scotty Dogs are compelled to atone for the sins of their existances? (PS No disrespect to the potential Cheffette ) *lol* having met quite a few of the Scottish Togs on here, do you honestly think they are the sort to atone?
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Post by sallydickins on Jan 18, 2010 13:32:59 GMT
Ewwwww Is this when the Scotty Dogs are compelled to atone for the sins of their existances? (PS No disrespect to the potential Cheffette ) *lol* having met quite a few of the Scottish Togs on here, do you honestly think they are the sort to atone? I agree with your point but surely one would have to be a masochist to eat that sh*te? ;D
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Post by Mahatt Micoat on Jan 18, 2010 17:20:36 GMT
I agree with your point but surely one would have to be a masochist to eat that sh*te? ;D But I like that sort of food!
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Post by Grumpy Ole-Gitt on Jan 18, 2010 20:02:56 GMT
*lol* having met quite a few of the Scottish Togs on here, do you honestly think they are the sort to atone? I agree with your point but surely one would have to be a masochist to eat that sh*te? ;D And that from the nation which invented tripe, and faggots?
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