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Post by Nick O. Teen on Mar 28, 2010 23:55:53 GMT
Paddy has lived in Belfast all his life. He's 94 years old now, and he knows he's not long for this world, but he doesn't fear death; in fact he welcomes it, if it'll rid him of the nightmare that has plagued him for the last 40-odd years.
In his dreams, he's walking along a street - any street - in Belfast, when a big black limousine whizzes past him, then screeches to a halt, and out of it strides the grim, imposing figure of Ian Paisley, bellowing his message to anyone who cares to hear.
One night, Paddy slips away from this Earthly world, and finds himself outside Heaven's gates. A kindly guardian beckons him through the gates.
St. Peter, for it is he, says gently "Come, Patrick, for you are safe now. Heaven awaits."
"Does that mean", asks Paddy, "that I am free from my nightmare? You know, the one with the big black lim..."
"I know all about it", replies St. Peter, "and yes, you are free. Now enter Heaven."
Well, Paddy hasn't been in Heaven five minutes before a big black limousine whizzes past him, screeching to a halt yards in front of him. Paddy screams and runs back to the Pearly Gates, knocking St. Peter over in his haste.
"St Peter!!" he yells. "Five minutes - five flamin' minutes I'm in there and there's a big black limousine and it's whizzin' past me and yer man Paisley's in there and - "
"Calm yourself, Patrick, calm yourself", says St. Peter, "it's only God. He just thinks he's Ian Paisley."
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