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Post by revmichael on Dec 21, 2007 8:25:05 GMT
Tough one that Caddi. I love steak but how do I know if the cattle have been treated well?
The Veggi argument has a lot to commend it but they certainly ate meat in the Bible.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 17, 2007 8:48:29 GMT
The weary holiday traveler looked in disbelief at a bunch of mistletoe hanging above the airline luggage check-in counter.
Turning to the member of staff he said, "Okay, I give up. Why is the mistletoe hanging there above the luggage scale?"
She replied, "So you can kiss your luggage good-bye."
(stolen from 'Good Clean Funnies List)
(I hope that doesn't happen to ours when we fly to the Far East and 'Down Under' just after Christmas)
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Post by revmichael on Dec 15, 2007 10:11:23 GMT
Clever, MM. I've not heard that one before - nor is it in my collection
- yet.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 15, 2007 8:14:22 GMT
.. puns
As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve as Santa Claus landed on a rooftop, he suddenly heard a very loud "Snort sniff honk honk snort!" coming from one of his reindeer. Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn't know which one it was. It happened again, only louder this time: "Snort sniff honk honk snort!" Dogs in the neighbourhood began to bark. "Shhh!" Santa hissed. "Please be quiet!" He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. "SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!" Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.
Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the reindeer and announced, "We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!" None of the reindeer stepped forward. Santa held up a piece of paper. "I know who it is, and I have written your name on this paper. But I want to give you a chance to do the right thing on your own."
Still none of the reindeer came forward. So Santa did the only thing he could do - read off the rude-nosed reindeer!
(Stolen from Pastor Tim --- I told you not to read it).
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Post by revmichael on Dec 24, 2007 9:41:16 GMT
The difficulty is that when anyone converts to catholicism, they must state that they accept all of the church's teaching, including such things as abortion and contraception. I really cannot see how Blair could make that statement honestly, after his record of voting in the Commons. However, all Christian churches accept that people can repent of their bad deeds and be forgiven by God through Christ - whether Blair has done that or not is his private affair and probably should remain so, unless he decides to speak about the matter. I take Beau's point, but I'm sure all churches teach that, just because one person has sinned/lied etc does not mean that everyone else who chooses to follow their example do not commit a sin in the eyes of the Church. The hypocracy comes when the Church tries to protect it's clergy when they are known to be breaking the law, as in the case of Catholic priests who have preyed on underage choir boys. I presume that many of those Catholics who use contraception or have an abortion look for forgiveness some time in their lives. A lot more, however, probably come to the view that the teaching is wrong and that the Pope is not infallible as claimed. As usual our Elf in waiting sums up the case very well and speaks so much good sense. (bows to Miss, and hastily departs)
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Post by revmichael on Dec 20, 2007 11:03:08 GMT
I once had the fun of reading 1 Cor. 13 at friends' wedding. "Love is ... (long pause until the congregation squirms) ... patient, ". I like that truth (?) of that old hymn - 'Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away.'
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Post by revmichael on Dec 14, 2007 12:10:51 GMT
Yes, Carl, you'd never guess that I'd copied it from the internet (pastor tim, actually). However, the mention of cookie might possibly have given it away to the more discerning tog. But you found it for us. An excellent thought...or several...thanks Michael... That's kind of you Mel, but, sadly it wasn't because I was clever; it just came into my 'In Box' this morning.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 14, 2007 8:42:34 GMT
That's wonderful, Michael. To me, love is top of my list as the treasure I wish to receive and the gift I have to give. It's sad to think that in today's world, in so many situations, it's considered not enough. If only it could be viewed for the unbelievably precious thing it is. Delilah x Yes, without love we are worth very little. Sadly there is a marked absence of it in the world today. Hopefully at Christmas time some people will sink their differences and show a little care for their fellows. I think particularly of those togs (and there are some on these boards) who have relatives that disown them. I do pray that Christmas will provide the excuse for reconciliation.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 14, 2007 8:40:13 GMT
That's well put Michael - what a talented man you are. Yes, Carl, you'd never guess that I'd copied it from the internet (pastor tim, actually). However, the mention of cookie might possibly have given it away to the more discerning tog.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 14, 2007 7:56:39 GMT
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime: but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.
If I work at a soup kitchen carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity; but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.
Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return; but rejoices in giving to those who can't.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things endures all things. Love never fails.
Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust;
But giving the gift of love will endure.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 14, 2007 8:59:14 GMT
I haven't seen that one before Bart. Thanks for posting it.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 13, 2007 8:21:29 GMT
How about sharing some of your memories of Christmases past?
I remember a number of wartime Christmases. The black out was in operation but mum had a very small, spindly Christmas tree which had an upright stem (covered in dark green paper which had serrations on it. There were around eight smaller 'branches' sticking out at right angles. We had a half or dozen or so clips on to which small candles could be gripped - but when they were lit the grease fell on to the sideboard (where the 'tree' was placed). We made paper chains out of those strips of coloured sticky paper - we made them into a chain. The Christmas cake only had icing sugar on the top of it and the bare sides were covered with a broad band. Fruit was also scarce and my dad used to say, 'Did you stand on Crockenhill (a hill to the north of Edenbridge) and trough that fruit in?'
What about your memories?
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Post by revmichael on Dec 18, 2007 16:08:04 GMT
Thanks so much for sharing that Ceebs. Those words are not only beautiful and moving - they are real.
When I do a funeral visit I always ask to see a photo of the one who has died and I encourage the bereaved person to talk about him/her. If it is a child who has died I never, ever tell them that I know how they feel - but I do tell them how I felt when my Simon was killed in a car crash at the age of 18.
There is so much good sense in what you have written that I hope lots of people will take notice of it. May God bless you and encourage you in all you do.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 18, 2007 8:33:32 GMT
A few years ago we had a similar card - in fact there was another one like it last year. I always try to think of someone who knows them well and ring that person to see if they know why the card was only from one person.
I also do this when I hear that a friend has died. It must be awful to send a sympathy card and find out later that the person is still alive.
Sadly it is true that people break up - even after a long time together. A couple of years ago we rang a friend in New Zealand to wish them a Happy Christmas only to discover that the wife has left her husband and children for another man. We had stayed with them six months before and spotted nothing wrong.
I hope all goes well with you as you try to find out what has happened. I'm sure you will be very tactful.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 12, 2007 7:38:52 GMT
Nice one Shemmy - perhaps Michael could have a poll to see which one to use? That nice Ivy could tell him how to do it. Madam, this is a bit too much. You are suggesting that I should engage in pole dancing and in the following post el Finappiness suggests that I could turn the other cheek and go feminine - or adopt the name of Crispen. Do you really think that people would put money into my underpants? - even though I have lost a whole stone in weight!
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Post by revmichael on Dec 11, 2007 18:07:28 GMT
Thank you for all those ideas.
Please keep them coming.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 11, 2007 16:55:51 GMT
Michelangelo? Rudolph the Red Nosed Reverend? My friend, are you suggesting that evidence of my drinking habits is becoming noticeable?
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Post by revmichael on Dec 11, 2007 14:57:06 GMT
No surely Mick the Mouse? Micky Mouse...in a mousse form with mousseline sauce? With Moussaka as the main course.... That sounds a bit crabby to me, Mel.
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Post by revmichael on Dec 11, 2007 10:44:46 GMT
Thanks Beau. I think I'll go for the reindeer - but how should I cook it?
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Post by revmichael on Dec 11, 2007 8:33:46 GMT
... everyone seems to have adjusted their name to make it fit in with the season.
But I'm flummoxed. How can I amend mine?
Michaelmas is in the autumn, I think. Revmember is what we do at Christmas time. I can't see how I can add holly, ivy, mince pies, cake, Santa - or even Robin - to it.
But, as none of those secular symbols of this season has anything to do with the story of Christ's birth at Bethlehem, perhaps I'd better stick with Revmichael
(but you can drop the 'rev' bit as it's only a courtesy title)
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