Post by Eema Braazkumov on Feb 10, 2008 19:50:57 GMT
Coooo lummy I'm nervous! My hands are sweaty and shaking, and if my podgy knees were a bit skinnier, they'd be knocking. NEVER go out on a date with someone you've fancied for five years. It's terrifying. I haven't eaten a thing all day. Why? God only knows how much I love my food, but I'm likely to do a technicolor yawn as soon as I lay eyes on him, such is my infactuation with him.
Always did, you know. Puke as soon as look at him. He made me THAT nervous. Oh, it brought hoots of laughter from my friends, as I stood there, glowing red, with a no. 11 of last nights' casserole running down from my nostrils. Anyhoo, that was college. This is now. I'm mature...ish. I'm talented...there aren't many waitresses that can hold a tray of three cafe lattes and empty the whole contents onto just one person. Wearing white. It was spectacular if nothing else. It was also my last day on that particular job. Hey ho.
Crumbs. I've got 15 minutes till he gets here. Why for the love of all that's holy did I say for him to come round to mine? I can't cook for toffee! He's going to be making polite noises all evening while trying to digest something that tastes like old socks. Well, too late now girl. Lippy on... oh lord no, that makes me look like a hooker. Tissues, tissues! Where are the bl00dy tissues! Ow f**k!!!! Who put that sodding stool there?! Right, what about this lipstick? Okay... hmmmn, that's slightly better. Not so vampy. I don't want him to think I'm easy after all... well, not yet.
I look at the dining table, speculatively. Candles lit or not? Too Barbara Taylor Bradford? Only if I don't light the candles, I'll have to put the big light on, and that will show off my bl00dy great zit on my forehead to belicia beacon-esque proportions. Hmmmmn. I'll have a think about... 'DING DONG!'
Bl00dy hellfire, he's here! He's here! Sh*t! I'm not ready. I look awful, my @rse looks huge and why didn't I notice that my teeth look like broken biscuits??? Too late now! Deep breath. Open the door.
'Hello, you're here!' Oh gawd, could that have been any more high pitched?
'You look lovely. You haven't changed a bit'. Kiss on the cheek. I laugh nervously without opening my mouth, and then bogey bubbles suddenly inflate from my nostrils. The four minute warning...
5 minutes later.
And there was me thinking there was nothing left in my stomach to throw up...
Always did, you know. Puke as soon as look at him. He made me THAT nervous. Oh, it brought hoots of laughter from my friends, as I stood there, glowing red, with a no. 11 of last nights' casserole running down from my nostrils. Anyhoo, that was college. This is now. I'm mature...ish. I'm talented...there aren't many waitresses that can hold a tray of three cafe lattes and empty the whole contents onto just one person. Wearing white. It was spectacular if nothing else. It was also my last day on that particular job. Hey ho.
Crumbs. I've got 15 minutes till he gets here. Why for the love of all that's holy did I say for him to come round to mine? I can't cook for toffee! He's going to be making polite noises all evening while trying to digest something that tastes like old socks. Well, too late now girl. Lippy on... oh lord no, that makes me look like a hooker. Tissues, tissues! Where are the bl00dy tissues! Ow f**k!!!! Who put that sodding stool there?! Right, what about this lipstick? Okay... hmmmn, that's slightly better. Not so vampy. I don't want him to think I'm easy after all... well, not yet.
I look at the dining table, speculatively. Candles lit or not? Too Barbara Taylor Bradford? Only if I don't light the candles, I'll have to put the big light on, and that will show off my bl00dy great zit on my forehead to belicia beacon-esque proportions. Hmmmmn. I'll have a think about... 'DING DONG!'
Bl00dy hellfire, he's here! He's here! Sh*t! I'm not ready. I look awful, my @rse looks huge and why didn't I notice that my teeth look like broken biscuits??? Too late now! Deep breath. Open the door.
'Hello, you're here!' Oh gawd, could that have been any more high pitched?
'You look lovely. You haven't changed a bit'. Kiss on the cheek. I laugh nervously without opening my mouth, and then bogey bubbles suddenly inflate from my nostrils. The four minute warning...
5 minutes later.
And there was me thinking there was nothing left in my stomach to throw up...