Post by Prints le Some on May 14, 2008 5:49:12 GMT
The following was found in a notebook that had been left overnight on a table by a member of staff at a hostel for the homeless in London. Note, some punctuation has been added and some spellings corrected.
<< My name is Mary Elizabeth Fenwick. I am 33.
I am sorry to have used your paper but I wanted to write my name again, it has been years since I have written it or even seen it written down. You won't know me by that name of course, Edna told me not to use my real name any more. They can find you if you use your real name. The last time I can remember writing my name was when I signed for my husbands things at the hospital. A car killed him one evening at the end of our road. My lovely husband. That was years ago. I may have written it since but things began to fall apart straight after that and my memory is hazy. Edna says it is because I am stupid but I stopped doing what she told me years ago so now she just calls me names and insults me so I take no notice of her. She seemed helpful after Ted was killed, giving me advice and stuff but gradually I began to wonder if she was actually helping or making things worse. They took my children and I am sure it was because I did what she told me, she said I should keep them at home with me so we could comfort each other. People kept coming round and telling me I had to take care of the kids properly but Edna said they knew nothing about looking after kids and maybe we should take the kids somewhere so the people couldn't find us. I tried that but we had no car by then and we got very wet walking out of town, someone in a police car offered us a lift but they took us back to town and my children went away with a woman from a police station. They took me to a hospital then, maybe I had pneumonia or the like. I stayed in hospital for a long while but in the end I left. I went home but our house wasn't there. I was sure I was in the right road but it seemed to have gone. I was shocked because I could remember Ted saying May, if anything ever happens to me you will be OK, with the money Mum left us the house is paid for and there are enough stocks and shares in our name for a tidy little income. I could not believe they could take our house away, where were the children supposed to live.
May, I had forgotten that, my darling Ted always called me May, used to drive my old Mum crazy Mary I christened her and Mary she will be she used to say.
Edna said they can take anything, she said your husband and kids are gone now, so is your home. They have taken everything you had. You had better run girl, whatever you do don't let them find you or know you have anything left, hide everything.
That's why I hide my things in my pram, everything I have is in there. Except my clothes, I wear them all the time because Edna said if they take the pram I would have nothing to wear. I get so hot when the weather is warm but better safe than sorry. The blond girl in the red dress that gave out the tea this afternoon said to me why are you so angry all the time. When you push a pram with everything you own in it all day in the blazing sun wearing a dress, trousers, a jacket and an overcoat you have a right to be angry. Anyway, she has a home and family who love her. She has a life, I bet that every night someone says goodnight love to her, why should I be friendly to anyone like that. Edna says I am a jealous old cow. I wish I could find out where Edna is, I once stood outside a shop window all day using it as a mirror, Edna was moaning on at me all the time but not once could I see her anywhere. She was talking loud like she does in my ear but I couldn't see her, I have never seen her. If I did I would kill her. She got my kids taken away with her stupid advice. I thought my kids would find me one day and help me, but they never did. I hope some one says goodnight to them.
I am sorry I have used so much of your notebook, I only meant to write my name but then I started running on, Edna says I don't say anything for months then when I start I can't stop.
I have nearly use a page, I am really sorry. If you don't mind I need to write some more names
Edward James Fenwick he is 35
Sarah Jane Fenwick she is 12
James Joseph Fenwick he is 9
I don't know how old they are now because they were all taken away from me a long while ago. >>
We asked the girl who served the tea that afternoon who she had asked about being angry, she thinks it was Sadie, an old homeless lady who visits us every few months. She must be in her sixties.
<< My name is Mary Elizabeth Fenwick. I am 33.
I am sorry to have used your paper but I wanted to write my name again, it has been years since I have written it or even seen it written down. You won't know me by that name of course, Edna told me not to use my real name any more. They can find you if you use your real name. The last time I can remember writing my name was when I signed for my husbands things at the hospital. A car killed him one evening at the end of our road. My lovely husband. That was years ago. I may have written it since but things began to fall apart straight after that and my memory is hazy. Edna says it is because I am stupid but I stopped doing what she told me years ago so now she just calls me names and insults me so I take no notice of her. She seemed helpful after Ted was killed, giving me advice and stuff but gradually I began to wonder if she was actually helping or making things worse. They took my children and I am sure it was because I did what she told me, she said I should keep them at home with me so we could comfort each other. People kept coming round and telling me I had to take care of the kids properly but Edna said they knew nothing about looking after kids and maybe we should take the kids somewhere so the people couldn't find us. I tried that but we had no car by then and we got very wet walking out of town, someone in a police car offered us a lift but they took us back to town and my children went away with a woman from a police station. They took me to a hospital then, maybe I had pneumonia or the like. I stayed in hospital for a long while but in the end I left. I went home but our house wasn't there. I was sure I was in the right road but it seemed to have gone. I was shocked because I could remember Ted saying May, if anything ever happens to me you will be OK, with the money Mum left us the house is paid for and there are enough stocks and shares in our name for a tidy little income. I could not believe they could take our house away, where were the children supposed to live.
May, I had forgotten that, my darling Ted always called me May, used to drive my old Mum crazy Mary I christened her and Mary she will be she used to say.
Edna said they can take anything, she said your husband and kids are gone now, so is your home. They have taken everything you had. You had better run girl, whatever you do don't let them find you or know you have anything left, hide everything.
That's why I hide my things in my pram, everything I have is in there. Except my clothes, I wear them all the time because Edna said if they take the pram I would have nothing to wear. I get so hot when the weather is warm but better safe than sorry. The blond girl in the red dress that gave out the tea this afternoon said to me why are you so angry all the time. When you push a pram with everything you own in it all day in the blazing sun wearing a dress, trousers, a jacket and an overcoat you have a right to be angry. Anyway, she has a home and family who love her. She has a life, I bet that every night someone says goodnight love to her, why should I be friendly to anyone like that. Edna says I am a jealous old cow. I wish I could find out where Edna is, I once stood outside a shop window all day using it as a mirror, Edna was moaning on at me all the time but not once could I see her anywhere. She was talking loud like she does in my ear but I couldn't see her, I have never seen her. If I did I would kill her. She got my kids taken away with her stupid advice. I thought my kids would find me one day and help me, but they never did. I hope some one says goodnight to them.
I am sorry I have used so much of your notebook, I only meant to write my name but then I started running on, Edna says I don't say anything for months then when I start I can't stop.
I have nearly use a page, I am really sorry. If you don't mind I need to write some more names
Edward James Fenwick he is 35
Sarah Jane Fenwick she is 12
James Joseph Fenwick he is 9
I don't know how old they are now because they were all taken away from me a long while ago. >>
We asked the girl who served the tea that afternoon who she had asked about being angry, she thinks it was Sadie, an old homeless lady who visits us every few months. She must be in her sixties.