Post by Hideous Dwarf on Jul 23, 2008 8:14:53 GMT
OK, I just have to get in on the song parody bit.
I play guitar and banjo around the pubs with a group of elderly wind-breakers and there is always some bar-steward who will ask for 'Wild Rover' (And it's no, nay, never etc.) Extreme violence was often frowned upon so I wrote this alternative version. We usually keep it to the end of the evening to avoid being thrown out too early:
THE OLD FLASHER
I’ve been an old flasher for many a year;
I’ve got an old raincoat and a horrible leer.
I hides in the shrubbery in my disguise,
And I leaps out at ladies and show’s ‘em the size
Of my poor old feller – no, nay, never no more
Will I leave you, dear Mother, no never no more.
I went to an alehouse where I’ve been before
And surprised the landlady when she opened the door.
She laughed at my gesture, pausing only to say
That’s a nice little joke but now put it away.
That's my poor old......
I waited one day down at our local school,
For to show all the kiddies my family jools
When up walks a p’liceman in big number nines
And he shows me his truncheon when I shows him mine.
Hit my poor old......
I called at the house of a widow one day;
She opened the door and I did my display.
I leaned on the doorpost, my manhood to the fore;
Fair made my eyes water when she slammed the door
On my poor old......
I was showing my wares down in Tesco one day;
Got caught by the plums and they took me away.
They put me in prison where I learnt the law;
Don’t reach for the soap when it falls on the floor.
There’s an big old feller, a bluddy sight bigger than yours
And I’ll never leave you, Mother, no never no more.
I'll fetch my coat...
I play guitar and banjo around the pubs with a group of elderly wind-breakers and there is always some bar-steward who will ask for 'Wild Rover' (And it's no, nay, never etc.) Extreme violence was often frowned upon so I wrote this alternative version. We usually keep it to the end of the evening to avoid being thrown out too early:
THE OLD FLASHER
I’ve been an old flasher for many a year;
I’ve got an old raincoat and a horrible leer.
I hides in the shrubbery in my disguise,
And I leaps out at ladies and show’s ‘em the size
Of my poor old feller – no, nay, never no more
Will I leave you, dear Mother, no never no more.
I went to an alehouse where I’ve been before
And surprised the landlady when she opened the door.
She laughed at my gesture, pausing only to say
That’s a nice little joke but now put it away.
That's my poor old......
I waited one day down at our local school,
For to show all the kiddies my family jools
When up walks a p’liceman in big number nines
And he shows me his truncheon when I shows him mine.
Hit my poor old......
I called at the house of a widow one day;
She opened the door and I did my display.
I leaned on the doorpost, my manhood to the fore;
Fair made my eyes water when she slammed the door
On my poor old......
I was showing my wares down in Tesco one day;
Got caught by the plums and they took me away.
They put me in prison where I learnt the law;
Don’t reach for the soap when it falls on the floor.
There’s an big old feller, a bluddy sight bigger than yours
And I’ll never leave you, Mother, no never no more.
I'll fetch my coat...