Post by Eema Braazkumov on Jan 18, 2009 18:53:43 GMT
Monday 7.49am.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh godddddddddddd. My head hurts. I drank WAY too much last night. I mean I drank wine like I breathe air. And the only thing I can remember is making a date with a 'short man'. Gaaaaaaaaggghhhh!!!!! Right... time for work.
Tuesday 8.43pm.
Hello diary. Short man has just phoned. He had a lisp. I thought it was the alcohol on the night. Turns out his tongue is too big for his mouth. Which means it will DEFINITELY be too big for mine. And I never liked Jamie Oliver either. Apparantly we are going dancing. Dear Lord, I hope he didn't mean 'country' or 'break'.
Thursday 11.43am.
Morning, diary! Day off work. Am buffing up my old cowboy boots. Apparantly the dancing IS 'country'. Short Man, or SM as he shall henceforth be known, thinks it will be 'a larf'. Having a lisping large tongued short @rse heel toeing in a jaunty Billy Ray Cyrus fashion while grinning inanely at me from under a stetson is not my idea of fun. But no guts, no glory. Plus, the telly is cr@p on Friday nights. What if he's wearing collar tips? Ick.
Friday 11.27pm.
Good evening diary. Disaster! Shook SM's hand at the beginning of the evening and said 'Pleased to meet me'. I expect he thought I was getting tongue tied because I fancied him. Which I did a bit. As I walked through the hall where the country dancing took place, my boots made farty squeaky noises on the lino. Must get new boots. I started walking funny because I knew he was behind me watching me and nearly fell over something invisible. He probably thinks I really fancy him now. Which I do a bit. Country dancing is alright and we did larf, but mainly at the old lady whose boobs were pointing in different directions. SM had a bit of fluff on the top of his stetson. I know this because it was all I could see of him for most of the evening, what with being a tall girl. Can I fancy a 'Short Man'? Enough to go out with him again?
Sunday 2.43pm
Afternoon diary. SM and I have just been to Starbucks. Turns out he thinks women that snort when they laugh and produce projectile hot jets of coffee through their nostrils are adorable which is just as well. Also turns out I quite fancy short men after all. Infuriatingly, I didn't get to find out whether his tongue was too big for my mouth as he was obviously being 'a gentleman'. I did get a kiss on the cheek though, and although I had to stoop a bit and he had to tiptoe, it was quite nice actually. Go figure!
Monday 10.11am
Good morning diary. Have email from SM. Trying to surruptitously read it at work without prying eyes. Would never live it down if they knew I was dating an SM as I have consistently and publicly sworn off them my whole dating life. Although it has to be said, the email doesn't look like it's been written by an SM. He must have used a larger font. SM wants a third date. Am I going to have to start buying flat shoes?
Thursday 01.34am
Crumbs. SM has just left. I think I might look at Jamie Oliver a bit differently now, that's for sure. Snogging an SM when you're both sitting down is just as good as snogging a tall man except in this particular SM's case, MUCH nicer... Night night diary.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh godddddddddddd. My head hurts. I drank WAY too much last night. I mean I drank wine like I breathe air. And the only thing I can remember is making a date with a 'short man'. Gaaaaaaaaggghhhh!!!!! Right... time for work.
Tuesday 8.43pm.
Hello diary. Short man has just phoned. He had a lisp. I thought it was the alcohol on the night. Turns out his tongue is too big for his mouth. Which means it will DEFINITELY be too big for mine. And I never liked Jamie Oliver either. Apparantly we are going dancing. Dear Lord, I hope he didn't mean 'country' or 'break'.
Thursday 11.43am.
Morning, diary! Day off work. Am buffing up my old cowboy boots. Apparantly the dancing IS 'country'. Short Man, or SM as he shall henceforth be known, thinks it will be 'a larf'. Having a lisping large tongued short @rse heel toeing in a jaunty Billy Ray Cyrus fashion while grinning inanely at me from under a stetson is not my idea of fun. But no guts, no glory. Plus, the telly is cr@p on Friday nights. What if he's wearing collar tips? Ick.
Friday 11.27pm.
Good evening diary. Disaster! Shook SM's hand at the beginning of the evening and said 'Pleased to meet me'. I expect he thought I was getting tongue tied because I fancied him. Which I did a bit. As I walked through the hall where the country dancing took place, my boots made farty squeaky noises on the lino. Must get new boots. I started walking funny because I knew he was behind me watching me and nearly fell over something invisible. He probably thinks I really fancy him now. Which I do a bit. Country dancing is alright and we did larf, but mainly at the old lady whose boobs were pointing in different directions. SM had a bit of fluff on the top of his stetson. I know this because it was all I could see of him for most of the evening, what with being a tall girl. Can I fancy a 'Short Man'? Enough to go out with him again?
Sunday 2.43pm
Afternoon diary. SM and I have just been to Starbucks. Turns out he thinks women that snort when they laugh and produce projectile hot jets of coffee through their nostrils are adorable which is just as well. Also turns out I quite fancy short men after all. Infuriatingly, I didn't get to find out whether his tongue was too big for my mouth as he was obviously being 'a gentleman'. I did get a kiss on the cheek though, and although I had to stoop a bit and he had to tiptoe, it was quite nice actually. Go figure!
Monday 10.11am
Good morning diary. Have email from SM. Trying to surruptitously read it at work without prying eyes. Would never live it down if they knew I was dating an SM as I have consistently and publicly sworn off them my whole dating life. Although it has to be said, the email doesn't look like it's been written by an SM. He must have used a larger font. SM wants a third date. Am I going to have to start buying flat shoes?
Thursday 01.34am
Crumbs. SM has just left. I think I might look at Jamie Oliver a bit differently now, that's for sure. Snogging an SM when you're both sitting down is just as good as snogging a tall man except in this particular SM's case, MUCH nicer... Night night diary.