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Post by Lou Briccant on Dec 21, 2008 18:17:35 GMT
Now Arty, I'd just like to say, Good wishes are coming your way, You sound very perky Keep your eyes of my turkey, It's for my dinner, on Christmas Day.
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Post by fayesake on Jun 26, 2009 8:31:32 GMT
I've swept out this echoing thread And am bringing it back from the dead The spiders depart I'm getting back to the art Of bad limericks, inuendo, smut, dodgy rhyming, spelling, more smut, nudge nudge etc, instead!
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Post by Lou Briccant on Jun 26, 2009 19:10:40 GMT
I can't believe Faye, that you would write smut, Although we know you're a bit of a nut, So while you're writing farse, Don't you dare mention a@@e Or you'll get a kick up the butt.
It's so good to see you back on here, Though the rest have all gone now I fear, They all seem to have vanished Or they may have been banished Or just trying to think up new gear.
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Post by Lou Briccant on Jul 9, 2009 10:27:27 GMT
A shop keeping man frae Dunoon To Ken Bruce said, "I'll name you that tune." He was half way to Heaven When he scored twenty seven But his' rival soon knocked him back doon.
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Post by bendy on Jul 22, 2009 11:31:56 GMT
I was sitting in the garden at the table When I spotted a strange bottle with a label 'Drink Me' it said, my brows did furrow And now I am stuck down this burrow But I'll be outa there as soon as I am able
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Post by bendy on Jul 24, 2009 8:10:23 GMT
It's Friday morning again The postie says 'looks like rain' I thinks I will type me some pomes And tidy my garden gnomes Could a limerick be any more inane?
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Post by Lou Briccant on Jul 24, 2009 19:34:12 GMT
A 74 yr old woman called Iris Thought, "I'll get laid and put it into my diaries." She went out on the splurge Shouted, "Wow I've got the urge," But it was only a water works virus.
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Post by Mae Hem on Aug 19, 2009 10:40:52 GMT
The extremely prolifically posting tog Got stuck one morning in the bog We didn't let him out Though he did holler and shout But we locked up and went out for a jog (for a few days)
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Post by Pistachio Newt on Aug 19, 2009 11:13:14 GMT
That one needs a follow-through:
Even from his throne he did post He did not turn to an eerie ghost Hopes of the togdom did not come true The messages kept coming from the loo Who wants the use of a 2x4 most?
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Post by Mae Hem on Aug 26, 2009 15:09:58 GMT
The cries rang out 'let me free' But there was no-one to answer poor Lee He lost pounds by the score And crawled from under the door And we realised that that was what we should have used the 2 x 4 planks of wood for - to close the gap - with hindsight it's easy you see!
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Post by Mae Hem on Sept 9, 2009 7:14:47 GMT
So it's farewell to our lovely Sir Tell We'll reflect on the years he has served us so well His banter is witty and merry But who will replace our Sir Terry? Let's give that young Evans a big well(come and as a newby will he get the drinks in?)
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Post by Lou Briccant on Oct 1, 2009 19:38:37 GMT
Whats happened to our Limerick writers A few of them were every nighters But now they're no more Is it that they are sore Or just that they have lazyitus
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Post by Mae Hem on Oct 5, 2009 15:17:56 GMT
The Limerick posters of yore Don't seem to post much on here any more When all's said and done They prefer a fish pun But I'll be back if you shout 'encore'
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Post by Mae Hem on Oct 8, 2009 14:41:42 GMT
Poor Faye she had terrible nits She thought 'b*gger this is really the pits' Her boyfriend didn't mind He was ever so kind 'Cos all he was interested in was her brain
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Post by Mae Hem on Oct 10, 2009 7:05:27 GMT
Here's more re our prolific posta He is often been heard to boasta You're just jealous of me It's easy to see Because of postings I gotta da mosta!
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Post by paininthebut on Oct 11, 2009 19:19:08 GMT
Said the Rose at the top of the Stem, "I am so very fed up with them, That I'm feeling quite fickle, So hey there big prickle, Lets you and me cause some Mae Hem."
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Post by Lou Briccant on Oct 11, 2009 19:34:02 GMT
He stumbled and hurt his' left foot. And had to visit the new First Aid hut, The nurse who was blonde Said, "Now don't be so fond, Youre just a big paininthebut Boom Boom
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Post by Mae Hem on Oct 12, 2009 8:04:57 GMT
It's Lou's birthday on this very day So I am posting on here just to say These Limerick pages Will go on for ages As long as we have time to play
We have posted so many a bad verse With innuendo and puns and much worse But I hope we carry on When all's said and done Have you heard the one about the doctor and nurse?
Happy birthday Lou xx
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Post by Lou Briccant on Jan 15, 2010 20:57:07 GMT
I've been away from here for a while, But what I read, makes me prone to a smile, That Mae's a big hit At producing some wit And not only that I'll beguile.
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Post by Mae Hem on Jan 16, 2010 15:42:55 GMT
We've been up to our oxters in snow And found there was nowhere to go So some bad rhyming I'll do And a happy new year to you Lou I'm just hoping the ideas will flow and I can get my backside outa this chair 'cos the snow's gorn and there's no excuse for this waffle an..................................
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