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Post by Nick O. Teen on Sept 18, 2005 21:37:00 GMT
What does the Demolition Man do?
The Demolition Man takes a song, and demolishes it by knocking down its central premise.
So, for example, when Stevie Wonder & Paul McCartney sing:
Ebony and ivory Live together in perfect harmony Side by side on my piano keyboard.....,
you can say "Hang about; the black keys and white keys are in discord".....*BANGG!!* goes that song!
Here's another one: Roger Whittaker sang:
I've got to leave old Durham town...
And in the second verse, he sang:
When I was a boy, I'd spend my time Sittin' on the banks of the River Tyne Watchin' the ships goin' down the line...
Sorry, Rog, ol' mate, but if you're watching ships on the Tyne, you're in Newcastle. Or Gateshead. But not Durham, 'cos that's on the River Wear. Ergo, you've left ol' Durham Town already. *KA-BLAMMM!!!*
A new example has come to light.
The Animals once sang:
There is a house in New Orleans...
Not any more there ain't! *KERWHAAAMMMM!!!*
Got any more, gang?
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Post by Candy Mansing on Sept 19, 2005 7:59:13 GMT
Yeah - think it was probably Sinatra or similar who sang it but he sang
"I left my heart, in San Francisco"
Seeing as he wasn't singing that in San Francisco I can only presume he was lying!!!!
Is that what you meant Nick?
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Post by Beau Leggs on Sept 19, 2005 14:35:06 GMT
Yeah - think it was probably Sinatra or similar who sang it but he sang
"I left my heart, in San Francisco"
Seeing as he wasn't singing that in San Francisco I can only presume he was lying!!!!
Is that what you meant Nick? He could have underwent a heart transplant in San Francisco.
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Post by Candy Mansing on Sept 20, 2005 8:09:21 GMT
Yeah - think it was probably Sinatra or similar who sang it but he sang
"I left my heart, in San Francisco"
Seeing as he wasn't singing that in San Francisco I can only presume he was lying!!!!
Is that what you meant Nick? He could have underwent a heart transplant in San Francisco. But he said he LEFT it, not swapped it.......
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Post by Beau Leggs on Sept 20, 2005 12:53:41 GMT
He could have underwent a heart transplant in San Francisco. But he said he LEFT it, not swapped it....... Due to San Fransisco's tough environmental policy: all things brought into the city by tourists must be taken away. He meant to say that 'he forgot to collect it from the surgeon', but You know Americans for misuse of the english language.
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Post by Nick O. Teen on Sept 21, 2005 8:43:09 GMT
Katie Melua: There are nine million bicycles in Beijing......
Actually, an official survey puts the true number at 7,445,386.*
Bye-Bye Katie. Ka-blammmmm!!!!
*no, that's not true either, but y'know, come on.....nine million?.....
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Post by Mike L.Iff on Sept 24, 2005 15:42:24 GMT
Was it Bruce Springsteen who sang Santa Claus is Coming to Town ----------------
------that's a no-no,cos Brucie can't sing
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Post by Peter Doubt on Sept 24, 2005 15:48:18 GMT
There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
OK I'll accept the fly and the spider but a horse........................c,mon!!!
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Post by Nick O. Teen on Sept 24, 2005 22:36:08 GMT
Don Maclean:
"Bye-bye, Miss American Pie,
Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry....."
You found a dry levee, Don? I don't think so!
Cop for this: KA-BOOOMMMM!!!!!!
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Post by Nick O. Teen on Sept 25, 2005 20:20:54 GMT
Madonna:
"...you made me feel like a virgin...."
Come off it, Madge, pet. No-one believes now, and no-one believed back in 1984, that you had that long a memory.
BLLLAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!
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shyted
Apprentice TOG
Posts: 149
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Post by shyted on Sept 28, 2005 20:07:17 GMT
How about Stevie Wonder when he sang " lately I've been staring in the mirror "
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Post by Nick O. Teen on Sept 28, 2005 22:17:20 GMT
How about Stevie Wonder when he sang " lately I've been staring in the mirror " Quite right, Shyted..* KABOOOMMMM!!!!* Incidentally, just between you and me, here's a little-known story. One year, Stevie Wonder got bought a cheese-grater for his birthday. He said it was the best book he'd ever read.
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Post by Nobbin on Oct 1, 2005 13:31:02 GMT
I (Who Have Nothing) - Shirley Bassey.
Who's she trying to kid?
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Post by Nick O. Teen on Oct 2, 2005 0:15:07 GMT
I quote Kim Wilde, from 1981: "We're the kids in America...."Err, hang on, or as we'd say in Morpeth, howld yer hand here a minute, gadge. www.kimwilde.com/kwe/wildek.html gives Ms Wilde's date of birth as 18/12/1960, and place of birth as Chiswick. At age 9, she travelled to the far and wide badlands of...err...Hertfordshire. So in 1981, she was neither a kid, nor was she American. In fact she was 21, and lucky if she'd been further west than Hemel Hempstead. Guess what's coming? Yes......
KA-BOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!![/color]
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Post by lily on Oct 8, 2005 17:05:33 GMT
Can't remember her name but some silly woman sung
"Don't it make my brown eyes blue"
err...nope I dont fink so....if yer eyes is brown they is brown.
Go on Nick, I know you want to.....
xxx
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Post by Beau Leggs on Oct 8, 2005 22:50:41 GMT
The Warden threw a party in the county jail.
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Post by Mike L.Iff on Oct 9, 2005 9:51:58 GMT
A little mouse with clogs on,well I declare,going clip clippety clop on the stairs
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Post by nobbin on Oct 9, 2005 10:21:02 GMT
I've seen them doing that loads of times!
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Post by beaunydol on Oct 9, 2005 17:01:35 GMT
Nellie the elephant packed her trunk.
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Post by Beau Leggs on Oct 10, 2005 1:05:43 GMT
Mud, mud, glorious mud. Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
Methinks the waters around the Arctic or the snow and wind in Antarctica would cool the blood a whole lot quicker.
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