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Post by singingyorkie on Aug 3, 2007 18:17:56 GMT
John would fit in at the zoo, he would be the star attraction. Can I go look at the monkeys he asked Janet, I like to see them thwinging. Do you know what swinging is, John does.
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Post by poppycorn on Aug 3, 2007 18:48:48 GMT
See the monkeys being fed, they are being fed bananas. They are clever monkeys and can do tricks with bananas. See John watch and learn. John then goes to the Reptile House, which is full of snakes and lizards, John's favourite is the Karma Chameleon. The keeper is a Mr Trouser he is very fond of his snakes.
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Post by sirnialdementia on Aug 4, 2007 13:56:50 GMT
Mr Trouser shows John his Boa Constricta. John is mightily impressed and in turn reveals his Python. With a flick of the wrist Mr Trouser is onto the Python like a shot...................
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Post by poppycorn on Aug 7, 2007 15:53:16 GMT
Melanie Frontage was in the Reptile House too. Hello John, she said, come help me tell whether these Iguanas are girls or boys, we have to be careful where we put them, we don't want any little accidents now.
Later that day Janet asks 'did you have a nice time John?'
Oooh yeth, he said - I saw some thwinging little monkeyth - can we do that thome time?, and played with the twowther snaketh, what a big iguana he hath, and Melanie Frontage showed me the differenth between boys and girlth.......
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Post by singingyorkie on Aug 14, 2007 11:46:47 GMT
See Janet's face. Have you ever seen John being stuffed with money nuts, Janet has.
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Post by sirnialdementia on Aug 16, 2007 20:34:32 GMT
Tomorrow Janet and John are going on holiday to Jamaica. John has booked two weeks at a place called Hedonism (i've heard about it!). John blows the dust of his case and pack his holday attire. Included is...............................
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Post by poppycorn on Aug 16, 2007 20:48:37 GMT
A purple pair of sequinned Speedos, a big straw hat with blue ribbons, his favourite yellow flip flops with little bells on the toe bit and a pink tie-dye sarong. John is sartorially elegant.
The straw hat has some words on it. They say 'Kiss me Quick'. John thinks that he is a bit of a wag.
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Post by singingyorkie on Aug 17, 2007 21:31:55 GMT
Off they set to the airport, and Janet tells John to be good and not annoy the check in staff. John lift hs case onto the desk. Miss Woggle says "hello John" have you packed all these lovely clothes yourself?"
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Post by poppycorn on Aug 19, 2007 14:37:52 GMT
Yeth indeed, says John. I hope I haven't packed too much though, I would hate to pay extheth baggathe. Speaking of extheth baggathe - along comes Melanie Frontage to join in the check-in queue
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Post by singingyorkie on Aug 20, 2007 14:43:00 GMT
Oh hello mithis Fwuntage says John, can I give you a lift up with your bundles. kind John. "Wheres Janet" asks Melanie, "She's gone to the ladies room" said John.
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Post by poppycorn on Aug 24, 2007 8:17:04 GMT
Melanie's baggage strap had become undone - I thay, thaid John, leth me fathen that for you, then I can hoith your bagth onto the check-in belt, have you got your pathport and particularth with you?
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Post by maiden britten on Aug 24, 2007 8:48:21 GMT
Melanie said she was always particular, and stood proud as John adjusted the baggage's belt. I thay, said John, you're thtill a little thlack even though itth ath firm ath I can manage it. Poor John.
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Post by singingyorkie on Aug 24, 2007 10:02:03 GMT
Janet returned from the Loo, and asked John if everthing was in order.
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Post by sirnialdementia on Aug 24, 2007 15:28:08 GMT
See the warning signs....................
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Post by singingyorkie on Aug 24, 2007 20:30:01 GMT
I have just lifted Melanie Frontages bundles, and tightened her straps, she said I was very strong and I had a big mussel, I said I prefered a good cockle.
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Post by wenchie on Aug 24, 2007 22:46:25 GMT
Can you draw a cockle? Janet can...
Run John, run........
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Post by singingyorkie on Aug 27, 2007 6:56:23 GMT
Janet & Joh go the the Cinema
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Post by sirnialdementia on Aug 27, 2007 9:32:04 GMT
Today Janet and John are going to the cinema. It is late at night and John is taking Janet to see a special film in Swedish
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Post by wenchie on Aug 27, 2007 9:37:03 GMT
See John put on his sunglasses in case their neighbour, Mr Harden, should recognise him.
*see the warning signs?*
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Post by singingyorkie on Aug 27, 2007 10:48:32 GMT
John is wearing his lime green velvet bloomers, with shocking pink frilled shirt. His patent leather shoes with the big buckles, and a very dandy little scarf.
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