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Post by poppycorn on Jul 26, 2007 11:14:59 GMT
Only if we gothe very fatht and I donth fall off - said John (still thinking they are talking racing car games).
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Post by territalks on Jul 26, 2007 14:27:44 GMT
Janet gives John a very angry look and produces her rolling pin and says 'home John' 'home' I only wanted to play with the racing cars wails John, see John run in his flippers poor john! Love TT xxxx
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 26, 2007 19:19:27 GMT
After a period of convalescence John returns home to Janet. She has booked them in for a course in car mechanics. John dressses in his pink crimplene all-in-one with blue suede hob nails and headband. He make sure that all his tools are in order and off they go to college
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 27, 2007 8:31:54 GMT
John learns all sorts of technical terms, such as giggling pin, and crank myshaft, and wrangle bender, he strives to remember all these words, as they may come in useful if his push-bike breaks down.
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 27, 2007 14:03:38 GMT
As part of his practical exam he is paired with Miss Norma Stits, a local beauty therapist and masseur who is setting herself up as a mobile purveyor in horizontal refreshment. John is excited by the idea of practicals and works hard to ensure the essential oils will not be lacking at the appointed time!
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 27, 2007 15:26:24 GMT
Their first task is to strip the engine and clean the spark plugs, Norma needs a spanner and she asks John if he has an adjustable one?
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 27, 2007 15:32:24 GMT
It's a bit of a wrench says John and it's tucked safely away in me twousers. It adjusts fwrighteningly quickly with even the lightest of touches and as a result its sometimes a bit difficult to get at!
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 27, 2007 22:24:19 GMT
Later that evening John said to Janet, I thay, wath a smashing thime! Me 'n Norma Stits stwipped things off and wubbed things down, and did thwee jump starts and she admired my adjustable tool, and thaid it handled very nithley
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 28, 2007 13:20:23 GMT
Do you know how to erect gallows using lollipop sticks and araldite?...............Janet does!
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 29, 2007 9:20:42 GMT
It is the day of the local village fete, there will be pyizes for biggest veggies, flower arrangements and cakes, and there will be fun and games. John is wearing his fave stwipey blazer, a pink ruffle front shirt and purple velvet cut-off trousers, and yellow platform shoes, John likes to think he is trendy. Janet asks John to take some fairy cakes to the stall for her.
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Post by Lou Briccant on Jul 29, 2007 12:18:47 GMT
When John arrives at the stall he sees Mrs Bickerdyke, Mrs Bickerdyke is from Yorshire see the hob nailed boots, Heh Up Fluffy Whiskers says Mrs Bickerdyke, are them there cakes for't stall. Yeth say John.
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 29, 2007 16:39:17 GMT
They are fairy cakes. They are light and moist and melt in your mouth, but you must make sure and not scoff quickly as you could get residue stuck in your throat!
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 29, 2007 18:21:32 GMT
Mrs Bickersdyke has also brought her special muffins, see John scoff 'em up. John casts his eye round the other stalls. I thay, he thaid, jutht look at the thize of them marrowth and corgeths!
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 30, 2007 14:55:04 GMT
John quickle got out his tape measure and set out to compare the sizes of the marrowth and corgeths........................
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 31, 2007 9:49:22 GMT
Just then Melanie Frontage arrives, oooh hellloo John, I see you have a tape measure in your hand, could you help me with my special entries for the veggie competition, they're organic you know. See John look at Melanie's special entries, and see his eyes water!
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 31, 2007 14:20:39 GMT
As Melanie reveals her special entries to gasps from an appreciative public, John wonders why you don't get many of them to the pound (metreic measures are available) these days.
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 31, 2007 14:30:59 GMT
Just then Janet turned up with John's special sun hat, it was made of straw and had ribbons and trimmings dangling from it, hello John, she said, have you had a nice day..........
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Post by sirnialdementia on Aug 3, 2007 10:01:15 GMT
'I've had a wonderful day' said John. Melane Frontage let me measure her special entries, but it didn't seem like there would be enough tape to go round them. In the end she found a clever way of pushing them together, so that the tape would reach!
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Post by poppycorn on Aug 3, 2007 10:07:04 GMT
Have you ever had to extract a load of pyize vegetables from where the sun don't shine? John has
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Post by sirnialdementia on Aug 3, 2007 10:14:26 GMT
Today Janet and John are going to the Zoo. John puts on his Pith helmet, orange corduroys, Hawaiin shirt and thigh length waders
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