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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 18, 2007 20:18:43 GMT
John explains that he slipped and fell posterior over funny bone. However now he was having a little trouble as he got unexpectedly caught up with Mrs Rocksof's ring................
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 18, 2007 20:22:44 GMT
I thay Janet, we have had such fun, said John, I twisted with the Rocksof, and showed them my nuts, and I got my baguette caught in Mrs Rocksof's antimacassars.
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 18, 2007 20:43:48 GMT
Aunty Macassar was a lovely old bird, but she was a bit hard of hearing
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Post by singingyorkie on Jul 18, 2007 20:52:33 GMT
John was in a very compromising position, and had difficulty explaining this to Janet
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 18, 2007 20:54:43 GMT
Before he could say anything, Aunty asked if anyone had seen her pussy lately, as it has been some time since she last set eyes on it herself
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 18, 2007 21:12:25 GMT
John likes stroking his ickle pussies, so he goes into the High Street to seek out Aunty's Fluffy Woofy Tiddles. See John dressed in his explorer's outfit of sequinned camouflage jacket, natty judpurs and blue brothel creepers.
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 19, 2007 13:30:04 GMT
As he runs into the street, he bumps into Reverend Sundae, riding his bike. Her name is Helga and she's from Sveden
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Post by singingyorkie on Jul 19, 2007 15:40:38 GMT
"Hello" Reveredn Sundae called John, have you seen Aunties Puthy, she hathn't seen t for a while, and is fwightened it gets a chill.
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Post by Lou Briccant on Jul 19, 2007 19:48:51 GMT
Na Sjohn, but if I bump into Auntie Maccassar I will tell her to put something warm on
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 20, 2007 8:13:23 GMT
In his quest for pussy, John runs into the local corner shop, it has new owners, a Ron Braitor, and his lovely wife Vi. 'I thay', said John my aunty's ickle moggie ith mithing, have you perthanth theen it?. 'I think I may have seen it, said Ron', It crept in, cr*pped and went out again, it went thattaway ...
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Post by Lou Briccant on Jul 20, 2007 19:35:25 GMT
Next John goes to the shop with the blacked out windows called Private Shop, Melanie Frontage met John at the door. Hello John You look a little out of breath. I am I'm looking for a pussy. Well you've come to the right shop said Melanie Frontage, just come inside
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 20, 2007 20:19:29 GMT
In amongst all the rabbits, john found a pussy. It looked like it had just been shaved and was trembling uncontrollably
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Post by singingyorkie on Jul 20, 2007 20:23:58 GMT
Oh Puthy, said John, let me feel your stubble and cuddle you to stop you twembling
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 20, 2007 20:31:14 GMT
All of a sudden ther was a great noise. Sorry said Melanie, must have been the beans on toast
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Post by singingyorkie on Jul 20, 2007 20:32:47 GMT
Oh Mithes Frontage, what was that, it just sounded like funder.
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Post by Norma Leigh Lucid on Jul 20, 2007 20:39:56 GMT
Sorry John, don't hang around for the lightning, they were curried beans
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 20, 2007 20:41:33 GMT
At this moment Captain Rumpo from the local army camp arrives to pick up his latest batch of reading material.
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Post by poppycorn on Jul 21, 2007 7:13:15 GMT
Wath Ho, Wumpy, said John ohh wath nithe ladies in that magazine, but where are their vests? won't they cath a cold? 'They're artistic, that's what they are!' said Captain Rumpo, 'and I am a bit of an artist myself, would you like to borrow a book?' He passed one to John, 'this one is called Artists Wives'.
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Post by singingyorkie on Jul 21, 2007 18:08:28 GMT
John loved the shiny pictures, do you know what glossy pictures are, John does.
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Post by sirnialdementia on Jul 21, 2007 19:24:03 GMT
Captain Rumpo explains to John that back at the barracks they play a game called the five knuckle shuffle. John seems excited by this and asks if he can join in. captain Rumpo explains that it needs supple wrists, lots of stamina and a good aim...........................
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