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Post by revmichael on Aug 12, 2009 7:54:26 GMT
Donna was the organist for our wedding. She related a story to us about a previous wedding in which she and her husband Burk were participating, with her on organ and him singing. During rehearsal the audio man at the church asked them to sing and play so that he could adjust volumes. They did not have the wedding music with them, so they began to perform one of the hymns they had practiced for church the previous week, "He Touched Me."
Just as they started, the preacher walked in and stopped, looking very surprised. He had never, ever heard that song chosen for a wedding before. The opening line of the hymn: "Shackled by a heavy burden..."
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Post by revmichael on Aug 10, 2009 6:52:50 GMT
Good one Mahatt.
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Post by revmichael on Aug 7, 2009 8:52:06 GMT
Dear Vera, May you know peace and comfort from your many friends, and your tog friends too.
Regarding spiritualists and mediums, you have been given lots of good advice about them on this thread. Please be careful to try and ensure whoever you go to for advice in not just in it for the money.' There are many people who seem as if they want to be helpful but they are frauds.
All I can add is - Don't be worried that you feel angry. This is one of the first emotions experienced by someone facing bereavement. When I am called in to take a funeral I usually give the bereaved person/people a card with some thoughts, verses and prayers on it, but the one I find most helpful is the one headed, 'When you feel angry with God.'
When I lost my 18 year old son in a car crash I found that the photos that we had of him were, and still are, a great comfort.
May God bless you and give you courage to face the future without your mum - but give you very many happy memories of her.
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Post by revmichael on Aug 7, 2009 8:15:44 GMT
One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for a second one."
(The Good Clean Funnies List)
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Post by revmichael on Aug 5, 2009 18:25:44 GMT
Nice one Mahatt.
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Post by revmichael on Jul 29, 2009 6:37:25 GMT
I am a member of the Bracknell Forest Standing Advisory Council of Religious Education. The task of RE teachers (at least in England) is to deal with learning about and learning from religion. There is to be NO indoctrination or preaching. I believe the same attitudes apply to C of E and RC aided or controlled schools. While Christianity is supposed to have more time given to it than other religions Islam, Sikhism, Hinduism etc. should all be taught. Again, by teaching is meant 'learning about' and 'learning from' each of those religions. Personally I cannot understand why there should be separate Protestant and RC schools in Northern Ireland. Does Scotland have a similar kind of divide?
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Post by revmichael on Jul 28, 2009 6:21:41 GMT
My love and prayers to you and your friend Shemmy. I have to take the funeral tomorrow of the lady immediately opposite my house. She was only dignosed in Feb/Mar and she died ten days ago. A lovely, quiet lady who transformed the life of Geoff opposite when she moved in eight years ago.
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Post by revmichael on Jul 27, 2009 8:17:44 GMT
A few years back, I had my old 45 RPM records out to look through and my daughter asked what they were. I explained that back in the 1960s before CDs were invented, this was how we listened to music. I further explained how all the bands issued singles on these "45s," and radio stations would rate the top 40 songs every week.
She was quite impressed as I continued describing how one used a phonograph to play them. I burst out laughing when she asked -- perfectly straight faced -- "Daddy, how many megs of RAM does one of these hold?"
(Good, clean funnies list)
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Post by revmichael on Jul 24, 2009 8:03:34 GMT
A guy goes into the confessional box. He finds on one wall a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars.
Then the priest comes in.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a long time since I've been to confession, but I must first say that the confessional box is much more inviting these days."
The priest replies, "Get out! You're on my side!!!"
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Post by revmichael on Jul 24, 2009 6:32:00 GMT
I've got very mixed feelings about this. If there are so many requests for this it strongly suggests people are wanting Church weddings and infant baptisms for the wrong reasons. Glen One of our Church Wardens believes that because Weddings have turned out to be so expensive many couples do not get married until the first child is born; they then have the baptism and a huge Christening party (instead of a wedding reception). My cynical thought was, when I heard the news, why don't they have a combined wedding, baptism and divorce ceremony all in one go - and save the expense!
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Post by revmichael on Jul 21, 2009 7:40:17 GMT
In the examination paper, the professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.
The professor carefully studied the answer script and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."
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Post by revmichael on Jul 21, 2009 7:14:29 GMT
Thats a terrible joke! It is a joke isn't it? I think it's a joke but I imagine there might be some men who have lots to say but don't have to courage to carry out their 'threats.'
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Post by revmichael on Jul 20, 2009 7:10:10 GMT
MM. I can only reiterate the good sense being talked above. May you and your loved ones have some peace in this matter. It is difficult for any of us to pontificate on these issues - particularly if we have never been driven to consider such extreme action.
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Post by revmichael on Jul 14, 2009 6:55:46 GMT
Potting up, earthing up, digging up, and when you see that many weeds, giving up and brewing up! Caddi, You have summed up what I was trying to say. You have me down to a Tea.
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Post by revmichael on Jul 13, 2009 6:56:32 GMT
"up" is the first word I learned to read. I was so pleased, I shut myself in the toilet while I underlined it wherever it appeared in a gardening book. Prophetic eh? *grins* I wonder how many times the word UP occurs in most gardening books. On Weeds - pull them UP After heavy digging - straighten UP After a long bout of boasting about the size of your marrows - shut UP etc.
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Post by revmichael on Jul 11, 2009 14:27:14 GMT
Well you could both pop up on thursday. ( I live on a very high hill Thank you. I'll lake sure I don't drink too much lemon pop before hand otherwise the strain might make me go off pop!
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Post by revmichael on Jul 9, 2009 7:34:56 GMT
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers, and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a shop in the morning, but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so ... Time to shut UP!
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Post by revmichael on Jul 9, 2009 6:53:05 GMT
Quick thinking, perhaps ?. I wonder if his prayer was answered ?. I think it would have been if the officer was Captain Darling.
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Post by revmichael on Jul 8, 2009 7:43:46 GMT
The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 A.M. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 A.M. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him.
Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, "A-a-a-men!"
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Post by revmichael on Jul 8, 2009 7:43:00 GMT
Dads also worry about their children (and my eldest is nearly 48 - and lives on the other side of the world). May Penny's son have a wonderful time in Tanzania and get home safely and make his mother even more proud of him than she is now.
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